In our own little world
by Channah
Summary: RS Men have hurt her way too much. Now she's living like a shadow of herself. How can anybody help her? Is it too late? Will she ever be able to be happy again? Sometimes you just need somebody to open your eyes...
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own anything. Everything belongs to Janet Evanovich.

Summary: R/S After the break-up with Morelli, Steph is fed up with everything. She hides herself away in her own little world, thinking nobody truly cares about the real her. She does not dare to even consider that she could be wrong and so builds up a wall around her, not letting anybody get close to her again. How to change that? How to make her realise how mistaken she actually is?

A long way is to be taken from the people that love her. But maybe it needs an outsider to name the _obvious_ and let her see straight again...

* * *

**Prologue**

People talk a lot.

You cannot do anything against it, it just happens. And sometimes it is worth it to just listen and think about what they say. Because it might makes you see things clearer, makes you realise something you have not before.

So I have been told.

Let me show you.

People say women are more sensitive than men. That they take care of the subjects referring to the heart and soul. They are able to fill the lack of the men's inability in that respect.

Maybe they are right.

But what happens to those women who are afraid of feelings? What about women who hide their secret wishes and desires deep down inside? Women whose stories of life with men are only big miseries?

What do they say about them?

I do not know what they say. But I know those women. I know how they feel.

They are brave enough to let a handsome guy in their lives – sometimes even more than once over the years – and want to believe that this is a good guy, that he is good for them.

Only to have to realize how wrong they were. And believe me, they could not have been more wrong.

Understandably, they try to ease the pain, to make the hurt go away and go on with their lives. But what lives do they have now? Lives full of bitterness, distrust and loneliness.

To really be able to understand what they feel, you need to remember that everybody out there is only a human being full of dreams and hopes and needs.

People need people.

So everybody creates their own little world where they only let precious and special people in. Not many are allowed to get close, but those who are, are part of something important. They are pieces of something that mean the world to another.

So what happens now if said women let a guy become that precious to them?

They are happy. They have found a soul that belongs to their own one that fulfils them, makes them complete – or at least, that is what most of them think.

Because often it happens that that guy leaves their little world, in the process taking something with them, throwing away a valuable thing: an important part of the women's life.

These guys do not necessarily know about that. They most likely do not think when they hurt the women. They just do it, without knowing they are breaking a woman's heart.

Most women now retreat into their shells. Hide behind unbreakable barriers.

We all know at least one woman who does not retreat. Not at first, at least.

Just like in the life of other women too, a guy keeps invading her life over and over again. She does not mind, he is good looking. But then he leaves her, not planning on coming back anytime soon.

And she is heartbroken.

They have a past, they share many experiences and one of the two thinks it was love.

But she is wrong.

A few years go by and she meets a new guy. Not being able to chance him leaving her, too, she decides to marry him.

And he cheats on her.

Her heart cracks again, but this time a little hole remains. Not visible for the world outside, but _her_ world is shaken.

Again time passes by and her first love comes back into her life and pursues her again. It seems so right to her, so predestined concerning their history, but again she is blinded.

It takes her a little while, and the confusing pressure of a weird acting man to make her realize it, but in the end she finally sees that he does not want her the way she is. And she has no strength to change for him, no willpower.

So she is alone again.

With a family that does not care about her, but about her status in society, and the Burg that takes in every step she makes with an unceasing hunger.

She dies inside.

And her little world is getting smaller and smaller by slowly kicking every person out that ever had the honor of being in it, thinking that everybody – especially men – only want to hurt her.

Once again she could not be more mistaken.

Because she misses something – the man who does everything for her, who suffers from pain seeing her with another man, but still keeping her close, who would endure anything just to make her happy.

She does not know that there is a man outside to whom she means the world.

She will probably never know it.

Until someone comes and forces her to open her eyes…


	2. Then and now

Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own anything. Everything belongs to Janet Evanovich.

* * *

**Chapter 1**

**The person you were then, the person you are now**

She could tell, he was watching her. Sitting on the chair like he used to do, arms crossed over his chest, black eyes fixed on her. She didn't need to steal a glance at him.

She would have liked to shake her head at that picture, but instead decided to just let the fact wash over her that he was acting weird lately – even weirder than usually.

Careful not to make a traitorous movement, Steph tried to simply ignore his presence and to go back to sleep.

It wasn't easy, as always.

The thought that he was there in her apartment, silently watching her for hours, made her somehow uneasy. He should not do this. He had no reason to.

It started about one and a half months ago. Like every other day the past few weeks before, Steph would leave her cubby late in the night to take the elevator and to go back to her apartment on the fourth floor.

Inwardly thanking Ella for preparing some food for her, she would eat a bit and then go to bed early.

Only to wake up at two a.m. with the certain knowledge that she was not alone anymore.

Since the hair on the back of her neck felt somewhat electrified she already knew who it was.

They did not speak and she did not make any move to acknowledge his attendance.

He just sat there what seemed like for eternity.

They never mentioned that event the other day. Well, she was not even sure that he knew, she had been awake.

But since that night a kind of routine had been appeared. He would come some time after midnight – obviously after his last job or just when everybody else at RangeMan ought to be securely asleep – unlocking her door and slipping through it without making any noise. Crossing her apartment like he would live there, he would enter her bedroom and take a seat next to her.

Watching her.

Strangely Steph liked it in some way. She liked the exciting floods of hope that unintentionally crept into her heart. Losing herself in the wonderful illusion he would actually care about the real _her_ and not only about her safety.

Every time he just sat there in the dark, all his senses focused on her, a warmth spread all over her body that she had not felt for a very long time.

But also she welcomed every night he came to her, the safety his mere presence provided, she feared those feelings that his actions brought up. Because she knew she would only get disappointed.

He had a company to run, many employees who took part in that big working system of RangeMan: He would not visit her to just look after her.

Maybe he finally had realised that she was not the woman anymore she used to be.

Great work, Sherlock… Steph suppressed a rather sarcastic snort.

He would never care about the real her. How could he?

She was a mess. An unlovable thing that was slowly turning into a robot.

A robot… Would it not be nice to live in that cold world without feelings that could be rejected? Without hopes and wishes that could be destroyed by simple actions?

Would it not be better, if nobody could get too close to you and so be able to break you?

0000000000

Stretching his legs on the carpet, he could feel the sigh coming up his throat. He always could sense the tension vacate his body when he visited his Babe.

Doing the job he did was not easy. But he had no choice. His past had marked him in more than one way, causing too many barriers to form themselves around his heart over the years.

He was not a very emotional man. At least not in his outward appearance. For the world outside he had changed his image completely. Settling in a little town like Trenton, running an own company like RangeMan, working as a bounty hunter for Vinnie.

He had many faces to show to the people who spent their whole lives just gossiping around.

Only a few people knew him really.

His gaze wandered over the quiet lying form on the bed. He knew she was not asleep, he always could tell it by the way her body tensed reluctantly.

He had to smile to himself. As when his Babe really thought she could fool a former military member.

It was one of those innocent character traits of hers that he appreciated so much. She was different like every other woman he had ever met.

Sure, this sounded like an old outworn phrase lovesick people used. But it was true.

Seeing her made him calm, almost content.

He would be just happy to sit there and watch her all night – would not be there the little detail about her saying that she had changed a lot in the last couple of weeks.

In a more than only concerning way.

When he first met her she had that special spirit enclosing her. Being a little naïve girl from the Burg who suffered from a permanent lack in her pocketbook, she could not have had worse ambitions to fulfil the job she was about to accomplish.

Back then he could not really tell why he actually had agreed to help her. Sure, she had been funny and smart, but he usually not volunteered to help a stranger that easy.

However the way she acted around him impressed him somehow. He was used to women each age fainting or fanning themselves when he appeared, drooling over his muscled body. He knew that, he was not imbecile.

His Babe in contrast had faced him with an unfamiliar respect, treating him like a human being and not like a movie star who had not enough brain cells to know how _bounty hunter_ even was spelled.

Well, nevertheless he knew that he had an affect on her, but it was the first time in years that he enjoyed it. He enjoyed touching her, feeling the breath caught in her throat, the shudder that went through her whole body, but he even more enjoyed kissing her. Encircling her with his arms to bring her as close to him as possible.

Suddenly very sad he shook his head.

He really missed her.

That might sound stupid since she still was there, in her apartment at RangeMan, but he knew very well that something was different. He just could not put a finger on it.

He was convinced that she asked herself why he kept visiting her every night, although he never made an attempt to talk to her or to touch her.

Well he in contrast asked himself why she did not confront him with the fact that he disturbed her sleep at an ungodly hour like she used to do back in older times.

What had changed her that much?

She even barely had fought him when he had suggested to stay at RangeMan after her break-up with the cop.

Wait, the cop…was it about him?

Unconsciously his hands clenched into fists.

Everybody in Trenton knew about the great argument Steph and Morelli had after the Constantine Stiva incident. Word on the street said that they had argued at Morelli's house. It should have been very loud and even some plates should have been shattered.

After about an hour Steph should have left the house, crying, and should have broken down on the pavement.

Since then it had been a very hard time for Ranger to control himself not to do anything stupid…like beat the cop up.

The only thing that prevented him from doing so was the thought that nobody really knew what had happened said night between his Babe and Morelli. Steph hadn't mentioned anything about it and Ranger doubted that it would change anytime soon.

He did not want to interfere too much with her life, afraid she would turn her back completely on him.

It was enough that it felt awkward not to embrace her or kiss her, but it was different than before. She had built up a cold charisma around her that made it impossible for him to get through to her.  
And it scared him. Did she not know that she could always come to him no matter what the reason was? That he would always be there for her?  
He felt the sudden urge to grab her and shake her, make her realise how important she was to him, make her talk. But he couldn't. He knew it.

He just didn't know what to do.

Quietly he stood up, chancing a last glance at the woman he cared so much about, before turning around and leaving her apartment to catch up some sleep himself.

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She was sitting in her cubby, doing the inquests the guys from RangeMan had asked her for.

It was like a trance. Her eyes were fixed on the screen, absorbing every little detail that was offered to her.

It was no wonder that the ringing sound of her cell phone startled her. Grabbing her handbag, she looked rather suspiciously at the caller id.

Seeing who was calling her, a lot of emotions washed over her. Stephanie didn't bother to answer the phone. She didn't need another homily of how miserable her life was by her mother. She knew it very well herself.

She simply ignored the annoying sound and went on working.

Two months ago Ranger had asked her out of the blue to stay at one of the apartments at RangeMan's. She still didn't really know why he had asked, but even less she knew why she had agreed to his suggestion.

Since moving in completely at the RangeMan building, Steph didn't get to know a lot about her former friends or her family anymore. Carrying her handbag was rather a nostalgic habit than really a necessity.

A lot of things had changed.

Suddenly there was a knock on her door that made her wince and a second later Bobby stuck his head in. "Hey, Bomber!"

She gave him a weak smile in return and waited patiently for him to tell her his request.

Seeming a little bit unsure he rubbed his neck with one hand. "Well, I was wondering if you would like to go get some food with me at Pino's. The guys are starving and they have enough of the diet food Ranger is keeping here. So, are you available?"

He seemed nearly sincere. Virtually as if he would really care whether she would come with him or not.

She sighed and cast a glance at her screen.

"Sorry, Bobby, but I have a lot of work to do. I don't want that you guys have to wait for the information I have to search for."

His face fell a little at her words. It shocked her. "Maybe another time," she added quickly and turned back to the computer.

She heard him close the door a few moments later and inhaled deeply.

Why should he care? Even Ranger didn't.

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His head hung down as he entered the control room, only to be greeted by a handful of expectant co-workers.

"Could you get Bomber to leave the building with you?" Tank asked in a hopeful voice.

Bobby shook his head, noticing the abrupt change in the men's behaviour when they all got disappointed and frustrated. It was no secret that Stephanie hadn't left the building since her move-in.

They watched her carefully throughout the days, trying to reason her sudden change in behaviour, but couldn't right figure something out.

The were all more than eager to help their Bombshell and to find out what caused her to be that unhappy – or who.

Lester even spoke it out loud. He was completely sure that Morelli was a major factor in this, while Tank wasn't so sure of that. He didn't think that this stupid cop could have such a great influence in her to let her retreat in herself that much. She was a different person now and he was convinced that there was more behind it than the eye could see.

He even blamed Ranger in some way. He knew a lot about what had happened between his boss and the Bombshell. He also knew about that night.

And he knew that Ranger was not the best guy in showing his feelings openly.

Sadly he took a look at the screen, showing a particular brunette sitting on her chair, doing her work.

Tank just waited for something to show him what to do. He wasn't about to let her get through with her façade any longer. Maybe she didn't know it, but she was a great woman and she meant a lot to him and the other guys. She accepted them the way they were, not the way they looked or the images they had built up. And she trusted them. She trusted them more than she had ever trusted Morelli and also it sounded somewhat mushy, it really meant a lot to all of them.

They were tough guys. They could throw people through windows by using just one hand and tracked down people in every state in record time.

People feared them and most likely avoided them, not even daring to speak or look at them.

So unlike her.

She had given them much by simply treating them like normal guys, like they were valuable. Or the funny remarks of hers, the accidents with cars and people. She was a smart and kind person and they really saw her like a little sister.

Someone who could cheer them up by her mere presence and made them laugh on a regular bases. In fact she had become a very important part of their lives.

And that didn't even include what she meant to Ranger.

So they were all agreeing that she was someone special. Maybe now was the time to show it to her and to be there for her. Maybe it was time to quit playing around and confront her.

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People grow up and change in the process. It's something completely normal. Their personalities develop and they get own minds, own opinions, own attitudes. Sure, these character traits are influenced by many factors like environment and each one's family, but the core of their nature can't be totally suppressed.

If the person is now a grown-up, it's understandable that it's now even more hard to make a person change. But what if it happens despite all the experiences that person has? Despite all the friendships and support?

How can something like that happen?

And how to prevent it? Can you prevent it at all?

People who change into a completely different way suffer from something that bothers them a lot. Something that makes them question the world they are living in and even worse themselves.

It's not easy to help those persons to get through that. They most likely have lost faith in everybody and everything. So just being ready to help them is not enough.

Such persons build up some strange complexes that make it nearly impossible for their friends to get through to them.

Their friends must be aware of the possibility that they could get hurt in the process and that they are only able to really help when they put their own feelings aside.

Nobody said that would be easy.

So there's only one question left: Is _she_ worth all the pain?


	3. Assumptions

Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own anything. Everything belongs to Janet Evanovich.

* * *

**Chapter 2**

**What people see**

Weighting his chances, Lester Santos drummed his fingers nervously on his knee. He could either be thrown out of the company, or better yet the car, or simply killed, right here and now.

Looked not so good, did it?

He sighed and ran a hand through his short-cut hair, resisting the urge to chance a sideways glance at his companion.

Sure, there was this little nice saying: _No risk, no fun_. And he certainly was someone who risked a lot, but this time it was a little different…The danger was literally staring him into the face and he knew he would most likely not survive it.

'Come on, Santos, you're not a chicken.' Even mentally encouraging speeches didn't help much.

As he sighed again, his surveillance partner cast him a look.

"Something wrong, Les?" asked the dark and dangerous voice of his friend.

"No, everything's fine." Lester tried to shift himself into a more comfortable position, but failed miserably. He wasn't really used to standing up to his boss. This certainly belonged to the few 'not to do things' Lester kept up.

But on the other hand he knew this time he had to do it. After all, he was also his friend.

"So, how's it going with you and the Bombshell?"

'Yeah, really diplomatic, Santos…why don't you make it easier for everybody and shoot yourself?'

Lester Santos expected a lot of things, but not the reaction he actually got.

Nothing. Ranger simply did nothing.

Well, when he put some thought into it, it wasn't so unexpected after all.

Feeling even more uneasy, Lester tried it once more. "Uhm, boss, did you talk to Bombshell lately?"

It wasn't really a question, because he – like everybody else at RangeMan – knew that Ranger kept his distance from Stephanie. Although nobody had an idea why he suddenly did so.

Finally glancing at Lester for a brief second, Ranger answered: "Is there something you want to tell me, Santos?"

Santos…the use of surnames was never a good sign. But well, yet, he hadn't called him by his full name, so there was still hope.

"Well, nothing actually," Lester began, stretching the words, "but I think, you should maybe talk to Steph, you know?"

Eventually tearing his gaze away from the house they had been observing for about half an hour now, Ranger looked him fully into the eyes. It wasn't a nice experience, rather a very intimidating one.

"No, I don't know."

Suddenly breathing became harder.

„Look, we all watch the changes going on with Steph. And the boys and I, well, we are really worried about her," Lester tried to reason his penetrate behaviour.

Ranger scrutinised him for a moment, before gazing out of the window once again.

"Focus on the house, Santos. Nothing else should worry you right now." His voice was low and soft, but the hidden threat behind it was nearly tangible.

Gritting his teeth, Lester couldn't hold it back any longer.

"Ranger, this is Stephanie we are talking about! Don't give me that bossy shit! You have to do something about her! Haven't you worked out some plan already? Anything at all!"

Suddenly getting the undivided attention of his boss, wasn't giving him real reassurance.

Lester tried very hard to remember one occasion when he actually couldn't keep his mouth shut in the attendance of his boss.

Strange enough, this was the first one.

Staring once more into the dark eyes of his boss, Lester knew that all hell would break loose any time soon.

Preparing himself for whatever Ranger might be up to, Lester tensed visibly.

It was a funny situation, because there they were sitting, two friends, boss and employee, waiting for something. Anything.

Lester was nearly caught off guard when he realised that the mood was changing out of the sudden.

But still he kept waiting, unsure what to do.

Surprisingly Ranger made the first move.

"You never stand up to me," he stated somewhat quietly.

Lester sighed and relaxed a little. So now he wasn't talking to the boss anymore, but to his friend. This was good, wasn't it?

"Yeah, but she's Bombshell, man."

There was a moment of meaningful silence.

"I know."

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Being slightly bored because of the sudden lack of inquests she had got from the boys, she thought really hard about a tactic to distract herself. It wasn't even noon, so there was still lots of time she had to spend in her cubby.

Leaving her seat, Steph searched through her handbag. She decided it would be a good time to sort out her belongings which she was still carrying around all those weeks.

It happened unintentionally. Like when you pick up the phone and accidentally click the caller away instead of pressing the answering button.

Frozen on the spot she stared at the face of Joe Morelli. It was a nice face, though.

The picture showed him on the couch in his house. A beer bottle in one hand, stroking Bob with the other one, it looked like a typical evening at home in front of the TV, watching a NBA game.

But his face…Stephanie couldn't really tell what it was about his face that made her want to cry, it just did.

Those brown eyes focused on the camera, the small smile playing across his lips, or this content look the whole picture procured.

She was homesick.

She knew it was stupid, remembering the huge fight she had had with him, or the even greater fight afterwards with her family, but still, it brought back the feelings of being home. The nice chapters of her life.

The relationship with Joe hadn't been easy. They had had a lot of disagreements concerning her job, her friends, and her business partners. But taking all this aside, there still had been good moments in that commitment. Soft caressing, tender but unspoken declarations of love, sweet dreams and wishes.

Her hand shook a bit, as she touched the picture.

She had been so sure this relationship would last. She had been so sure, they had shared true love.

And now she had lost everything: Her family, her friends, her love.

Stephanie didn't realise she was actually crying until a hand softly wiped away her tears.

Glancing up, she was facing a blank looking Ranger.

Slightly wincing, she took a step back to get out of reach of his promising touch.

"Everything all right, Babe?" he asked in an oddly calm voice.

She nodded sharply, not meeting his intense stare. "I'm fine."

He let it sink for a minute, allowing an uncomfortable silence to overcome them both.

"I'm about to get back to observe a house near the Burg," he suddenly changed the subject.

Stephanie wasn't quite sure what he was talking about, but didn't make any attempt to get to know it.

It wasn't necessary though, since Ranger went on speaking anyway.

"Thought, you could come with me."

Being slightly amazed by his suggestion, Stephanie sat back down on her seat. "Well, I guess it's nice of you to consider asking me to come with you, but look, I don't think it's a good idea."

She tried to turn her back on him, but his hand snaked out and prevented her try.

"Why not?"

Regarding her hands, her voice was only a whisper. "If one of the boys needs a certain file or certain details about a person immediately and I'm not here…"

Ranger cut her off. "Hal can do it as long as you're out with me."

She took in a shaky breath. So she was replaceable, huh? Good to know.

"I still don't think it would be a good idea," she repeated a little bit stubbornly, and moreover afraid. She couldn't bear it being with him alone. Not now. Not ever again.

Something in his eyes changed. She couldn't name it, but something was suddenly different. Even his posture seemed to straighten ever so slightly.

She could feel her heartbeat rising and an almost irresistible urge to step away from him.

Ranger cocked his head to the side, watching her like a tiger would watch his next target.

"Why not?"

She jumped at the light growl that came out of his voice and felt her hands shaking again.

He didn't wait for an answer. Closing the distance between them in an instant, Ranger stood mere inches away from her. Looking her carefully into the eyes.

Stephanie still wasn't capable of answering or looking back into his eyes. A fact that seemed to make Ranger angry, because his jaw clenched and his body tensed noticeably.

"This is not a request," he clarified.

She suppressed a whimper. Was he just threatening her? She couldn't believe what was just happening.

Instead of fondling and hot kisses like back in older times, she now got threats from Ranger, the man she used to be attracted to. Still was.

She bit her lower lip as another thought crossed her mind: He was the boss. He made orders, his employees followed. She was an employee. If she didn't follow his instructions, there would be consequences.

What if he gave her her notice? If he threw her out of the apartment? Where would she go then?

She couldn't go back to the Burg, not after all what had happened. Finding a new apartment and a new job would be difficult as well.

So there was only one possibility.

Finally she found the courage to look up into his scary eyes and just nodded, before turning away quickly to grab her handbag.

She didn't notice the emotions flooding over his chocolate eyes and the hidden sadness.

In her opinion he had turned into a cold business man, nothing left of her former friend and mentor.

Disturbingly, a little voice in her mind kept screaming she was wrong, she jumped to conclusions way too easy. But she wouldn't listen. To her everything was plain obvious.

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Leaning against the door frame, he listened rather uninterested to the conversation between his partner Big Dog and a young boy, who had been caught for dealing with drugs.

He looked out of the window to the corridor where several cops were standing and talking. Obviously sharing the latest news of the town.

He snorted in disgust and watched more curious as the talk changed visibly when Joe Morelli walked past them.

Well, actually it was not really Morelli, but more like a ghost of the vice-cop.

He wasn't himself anymore.

Carl laughed bitterly. Nobody that had known her well was the same anymore.

A hurt look crossed his face. Now he even began to talk like she would be already dead…Had it been so long that she left their lives?

Still he could remember every detail of her. Well, he had known her for years. Maybe that was the reason why it hurt so much…

A strange vitality had radiated from her, you could barely resist. Sure, she had had a complicated life, but still, something about her had drawn everybody to her.

And now, at once, everything was so awkward.

He still wondered what exactly had caused all this mess. One day everything was fine and the next she broke off with Joe, her family and all her friends – to move in at RangeMan's.

What was that supposed to mean?

He didn't even know if she was all right, if that suspicious bunch of mercenaries was treating her well.

Hell, he didn't even know whether she was alive. Nobody had seen her in weeks. Not even her parents had a clue.

He remembered the last time he had seen her. He had run into her at Pino's, sitting at a table with some other cops, about seven weeks ago.

She had looked terrible. Her head upright in an almost defiant manner. Her lacklustre eyes focused straight ahead, not bothering to turn her gaze to the left or to the right.

At first, he hadn't even recognised her. He had been telling some anecdotes of his day, until Swatson and Steinberg had begun whispering and focusing on a particular woman.

He had been shocked to see her. And she had looked different, not quite the way she used to.

Before he even had had a chance to recover and try to go and talk to her, she had been out of the door again, slipping into a new black BMW.

It was the last time anybody had seen her.

Carl was pulled back out of his thoughts when Morelli was about to leave the station and he decided to follow him. Nodding shortly at Big Dog, he exited the room and headed outside the building.

Just when the front doors closed behind him, he saw a shiny black Mercedes pulling in. His eyes travelled to Morelli, who changed directions abruptly and now walked straight to the car which was undoubtedly Ranger's.

By the look on Morelli's face, Carl knew he had similar cogitations concerning the mercenary's role in her current state of life.

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When persons change, it doesn't go unnoticed by the environment. People observe, people notice, and most likely people gossip – just as normal little towns do.

But each member of this community certainly has different opinions on in how far the persons have already changed and what exactly caused it.

The sad thing about it, that most people – even when they notice – do not try to help the persons. Maybe they think it would be another one's responsibility or they simply do not know how to help.

In the end it does not matter. The fact is, they just stay quiet, watching and analysing mostly for their own benefit.

Without recognising that this behaviour even makes it worse for the respective persons.

In contrast to public belief, those persons are not deaf and not necessarily imbecile. They note when people start acting strange around them, observing them – and that hurts the persons without much doubt.

They develop a sensitive grasp for other people's treatment toward them. It is a natural reaction caused by their feelings and fears. A distraught kind of self-protection: _Expect to get hurt, and it won't hurt so much. _

They are already _waiting_ for people to break them more and more.

And so it happens that those persons create images of the people around them. Images in which they are only there to take advantage of their weakness. Former friends become enemies, family turns into careless acquaintances, everything seems to turn from good to bad.

And even if the truth would be quite the opposite, she would not see it. Because she is certain to know, to _see_ what all the people are like.

And so she retreats even more into herself – without knowing that not everything is what it seems to be.


	4. Lack

Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own anything. Everything belongs to Janet Evanovich.

* * *

**Chapter 3**

**Not good enough**

Rage was taking a hold of him. Pure and raw rage, almost fury. He hadn't felt like this in a very long time.

Hell, he was surprised he even was capable of having emotions at all.

He watched as the object of his current anger got out of the car and, ignoring him, opened the door in the back to drag a cuffed and very crinkled looking man out onto the parking lot.

His hands quivered, he wanted nothing more than to start a fight with Ranger. Right here.

Pushing the thought away that it wasn't a good idea at all, he stopped walking when he stood in front of the Cuban bounty hunter, who still didn't acknowledge his presence.

The fire in his body seemed to burn Joe from the inside, but he made sure that his cop face was in place. No need in giving his opponent a head start.

Finally turning around, black eyes fixed on his, a clear warning therein.

"Morelli," he said without any hint of emotion, firmly holding the cuffed man with one hand.

Joe tried to calm down a little bit before answering. "Manoso."

It was an awkward moment. Joe had had a lot of eventualities playing themselves in his head how a recent encounter with the mercenary would be like, but now finally having the chance to was a little bit strange, because his feelings seemed to overwhelm him.

Staring impassive back, Ranger made an attempt to walk past him. That was the moment where it finally made _click_.

"Stop," Joe spat out, trying to detain Ranger even with physical interaction if necessary from walking away.

After a few rather demonstrative seconds, Ranger paused and said without turning around: "This is not a good moment for a fight, Morelli."

Ignoring the menacing tone in his voice, Joe stepped closer. His whole senses were located on the mercenary. He owed him some explanations. Hell, he owed him more than just that.

"Why?" He let out a sarcastic laugh and waved to the building behind him. "Are you afraid of the police?" A contemptuous smirk spread across his face. "So caring about other people all of a sudden?"

Ranger looked back at the somewhat quietening voice and sent him a long glance. "No."

He felt his blood boiling, pulsing in his veins, his chest heaving and sinking heavily.

Why was he so calm? Why was he so freaking normal? Like nothing had happened, as if he'd never intruded his life, as if he'd never made him feel inferior, as if he'd never stolen _her_ from him…

Inferiority, not being good enough – those terms always had been used to be clearly unfamiliar to him. He never had to worry about that before. He was an excellent cop, an intelligent man, a _wanted_ man.

But that had changed dramatically since his last girlfriend had left his life so cruelly, abruptly.

The pain was still shimmering beneath the tough surface of his, the hurt, the confusion.

It was certainly easier to take all of the blame on someone else, than on himself.

Ranger was definitely the right target for that.

"I have every right to confront you. And I can do it whenever and wherever I want!" Joe stated equally threatening as Ranger before.

He could see the sudden tension in the other man's body and was nearly sure to have finally reached his aim in provoking the Cuban.

He was wrong.

"I haven't done anything," Ranger referred to Joe's earlier accusations, starting to walk away once again. "I'm sure you did this all by yourself."

"Don't play dumb on me!" Joe screamed, unaware of the amount of visitors they've already got. "You took her away from me!"

Ranger's figure stood still suddenly. "I didn't take her," he growled dangerously.

Snorting sarcastically, Joe clenched his hands into fists. "You bastard made her fall all over for you! Baiting her with the fancy cars, with your dumb-ass mercenary behaviour you made her want to leave me!"

Ranger's eyes turned even darker, tuning every glint of rational cerebration out of his system.

But before he could reply, Carl appeared next to Joe and grasped his arm.

"Enough, Joe. You've said enough now. Leave it."

Joe shot him a glare and addressed the Cuban once again. "You know, we used to be happy. We had a good life. I loved her…and I know she loved me." A heavy sigh came up his throat. "But you made her believe that I'm not good enough, that my love is not good enough for her," he finished in a barely audible whisper.

He hated going all mushy in front of all the other cops. But he couldn't help it. It was just too much.

Two months since she had gone out of his life, leaving him with his confused thoughts and his Italian temper which couldn't be suppressed any longer.

He had just enough. Now he needed this confrontation with Ranger he had longed for since the first time the mercenary had appeared into his life, in her life.

Uncomfortable silence built itself up between the counterparts. A sincere glimmer appeared in Ranger's eyes.

"I did nothing. You were the only one who made her leave." Then he turned around, heading to the station with his FTA, leaving an exhausted Joe looking after him.

He started following the Cuban bounty hunter, but was soon stopped by Carl.

"Let me go!" he growled, whilst trying to get out of the other man's firm hold.

Shaking his head, he only tightened his grip on Joe. "No."

Joe looked back at the disappearing figure. Suddenly feeling unbelievable tired and defeated. He ran a hand through his hair in an uncertain gesture. "Is…is she okay?"

Ranger froze in his spot. "Yeah." He paused. "She's okay."

0000000000

He rubbed his eyes with one hand and looked at the clock. Four p.m. already. It was about time that Ranger and Bombshell came back to the building. Hopefully the FTA didn't make any difficulties.

Tank was tempted to call his boss, but decided against it. He feared to interrupt something that he rather would not.

He saw Lester massaging his neck and glancing at the phone.

"Don't even think about it.", Tank threatened.

Lester winced slightly at the sudden break of silence in the control room and looked at Tank with wide eyes.

"What?"

Tank's eyes narrowed visibly. "Don't call one of them."

Gesturing impatiently with his hands, he replied: "Why? Just wanna check they're all right. What's wrong with that? I mean, Bombshell hadn't been out for quite some time. Just wanna know if she's fine."

The second in command of RangeMan raised one eyebrow. "She's with the boss," he stated as if it would say everything.

Lester mimicked his actions by raising one eyebrow himself. "So what? Just because he's the boss, doesn't mean she's safe, does it?"

Tank stayed quiet, which caused Lester to roll his eyes.

"And you trust him that he won't screw it up?"

Tank narrowed his eyes again, more than menacing this time.

"What do you imply, Santos?"

Lester ignored the obvious threat, to which he came strangely familiar with after all those years getting threats from the boys over and over again, and went on speaking to clarify himself.

"You know better than anyone else that Ranger doesn't have a good history with Steph."

Tank turned his eyes back on the screen. "That's none of our business."

Although most of the employees from RangeMan had been friends with Ranger for a very long time now, interfering with his life or telling him what to do in his own business – neither private nor establishment – were taboos.

Lester sighed dramatically. "Come on, Tank! I know you care about Steph as much as I do. Just because we've been friends with Ranger much longer, doesn't mean we don't have to put him into place once in a while."

Tank glared at him for a brief second. "You're right. But you know that Ranger doesn't take it well when we interfere with his life. Especially when it involves Stephanie."

"So, what else do you suggest could we do, if not making sure that Ranger knows what he has with Stephanie and does better than screw it up with her more than he already has?"

Tank stared at him for a few moments, before answering: "I was thinking about having a little chat with Steph."

Lester nodded thoughtfully. "Well, I guess, that'll do for the beginning. When do you suggest should we talk to her?"

"There's no _we_. I'm going to do this on my own."

Lester pretended to be shocked. "But, Tank! You're the big scary man! I'm not sure, if she'll be pleased to speak with you or much more frightened. No offence intended."

The glare intensified.

"Come on, don't play it cool! I know you, and I know that you've planned on helping her since the day you recognised that something's wrong with her. So, don't play the big man, I know you're a big softy!"

Lester got the impression that the part-time boss was anything but pleased with him. It seemed to be his lucky day: First making the boss angry and then his second in command...Way to go!

Tank cocked his head to the side after a very long and quiet moment. "Fine then. You're right. Partly."

Lester began to grin broadly.

"But I'm still going to speak with her alone."

Lester pouted a little which made Tank growl. "Pal, you can't be serious! Remember Ranger's touch with Steph, remember your touch with innocent citizens, and then both encounters with him and you in a short amount of time – how is she supposed to deal with that? I'm certainly needed there!"

Tank furrowed his brow. "Santos, you're such a Drama Queen."

Lester only laughed. "Why, thank you."

Shaking his head in disbelief, Tank returned to his task.

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With the signed papers in hand, Ranger climbed back into the Mercedes only to be greeted by a saddened Stephanie.

He threw the papers onto the back seat and turned to the woman sitting next to him to softly wipe a strand of hair out of her face.

She looked up into his eyes. "Why?"

Ranger sighed deeply, but never took his eyes away from hers. He knew this was important for her to understand. She needed to understand. He just wasn't sure if he was the right one to explain it to her.

"He blames me for making you leave him," he began.

Stephanie's eyes widened slightly, but she didn't say anything.

"Thus this encounter between him and me was somewhat predictable." He smiled a little bit, which made Stephanie unconsciously grin as well.

Softly Ranger caressed her cheek. Enjoying the warm feelings the simple gesture caused as long as he could.

"Will you…will you fight?" she asked eventually, lost in her thoughts about her ex-boyfriend, unaware of the affectionate touch from Ranger.

He turned away from her, inwardly cursing the loss of the touch. "That's up to Joe. I don't know what happened between you and him, you're not telling me anything. So, I'm not going to fight him. But I don't know what he's going to do."

Stephanie winced at his hidden accusations and tried to defend herself, but he simply shook his head.

"No, you don't need to say anything. It's all right." He sighed again and started the engine. "It's all right," he repeated in a whisper.

Hurt that he repulsed her so easily, Stephanie settled on looking out of the window while they drove. Asking herself, why Ranger could make her hurt with such little effort and looking so unusual vulnerable himself at the same time.

878700000000008787

The conviction of not being good enough. Having lacks of abilities and character traits that make you less worthy. Nobody can stand those thoughts. Whether we realise it or not, every person in this whole wide world needs the knowledge of being worthy – at least for some people.

We need to know that we are enough for those persons, just the way we are.

In our first steps of life its our parents whose attention and love we crave. Then there will be our friends, the people we meet on our way to adulthood. And last but not least the person we love.

Finding the one you truly love is a tough task. Most people spend their whole lives searching, while others get the great opportunity of finding them without much effort.

Nobody said that finding would be just the end of the story.

Finding does not mean having.

Even if you find the person you are convinced of being meant for you, there will be several factors that are able to destroy your dreams and hopes about a serious relationship.

First of all, the façade some people create. Judging from the way those people act with it, it is not always easy for other people to see through their masks and right into their hearts.

Secondly, if they are marked by their past and are too afraid of another relationship, even if their hearts yearn for the affection of the other one.

Thirdly, if the woman you are convinced of loving, is not really the person meant for you.

And if you don't realise that, if you still believe, she is the one for you, it will destroy you.

Knowing you are not enough for the woman you are ready to spend your whole life with, for the woman you would change into a one-woman-man, for the one woman you would do anything – is something nobody can bear. Nothing anybody should ever experience.

In spite of everything, it happens. And then you will have to deal in your own way with the one thought:

_You are not good enough._

The only thing worse than that is the belief that there is already somebody else who apparently is.


	5. Realisations

Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own anything. Everything belongs to Janet Evanovich.

* * *

**Chapter 4**

**Jealousy**

She was back in her cubicle. Sitting in front of the computer screen, trying to do her job.

But she was a little bit distracted.

Every once in a while her gaze would drift off to the window, seeing Jeanne Ellen standing in front of Ranger and Tank, talking animatedly to them. It was something Stephanie got used to in the last couple of weeks. But the fact that Jeanne Ellen got an increasing interest in RangeMan and especially in Ranger was something she could not handle.

Stephanie noticed every innocent touch of their bodies, private looks they were exchanging, faint laughter they would share.

It was like a stab piercing into her wounded heart.

She knew it was stupid.

She only needed to take one look at the perfect shape of Jeanne Ellen to know she couldn't compete in any way. And that she should know that.

Jeanne Ellen was perfect. The way she dressed, the way she made her appearance so effective that no male was able to focus on anything else but her, the way she successfully accomplished her work, the way she just _was_.

Saying Stephanie was just jealous was not completely true. There was also a wistful wish being the way Jeanne Ellen was, a wish whose voice got quieter and quieter by each day passing by.

There was only one thing Stephanie was really jealous of: Jeanne Ellen was flirting with Ranger.

It never really occurred to her before which relationship the two shared and in which way they were associated now, but since living in Ranger's environment day by day, it made her feel uneasy.

Unwanted.

Stephanie missed his touch, missed his strong scent of Bvlgari and his hot kisses. And especially she missed the feeling of being wanted. The thought that Jeanne Ellen now got all those soft caresses and attention from Ranger hurt more than she would ever have expected.

Jeanne Ellen was another reason why she hid herself from everybody. How could she compete with such a perfect person? How could she even consider that there was a man outside who would choose her over Jeanne Ellen, every man's dream? And especially such a great man like Ranger?

That was not her league.

She wasn't imbecile. Loosing herself in hopeless dreams was something she used to have done in her past, but so many things had now changed…dreams just made her remember what she could never have.

Once upon a time, when she had still been with Morelli, she had had a lot of dreams. It had been the time when both Morelli and Ranger had told her they loved her, even with the little addition of in his own way used by Ranger, but still, they had loved her. At least, that was what they had been saying.

Now she had to face the truth that saying 'I love you' meant nothing anymore in a world full of fake and coldness and fighting for the own benefit.

She often wondered what benefit Ranger had tried to achieve by making her feel special.

Sadly she turned her head back to the screen, not knowing that black eyes had felt her stare.

So she also didn't notice that the door to her cubicle was being opened and closed by a familiar intruder. Not until he already stood right behind her, but still leaving a respectful space between them, she knew he was there.

Silence was filling the little room for several minutes until he dared speaking.

"How is it going, Babe?"

She couldn't tell if he was talking about work or her mental state. Well, actually she could imagine it was just about business. It always was.

"Good, pretty good," she said, shifting uncomfortable in her seat. She couldn't bear his presence. Not so close, without being really close to him.

A big hand settled on her shoulder, making her nearly jump at the sudden contact with his warmth. She felt him wince slightly at her reaction and soon the hand disappeared, leaving her skin aching for more. But she knew there would be nothing more for her. Not from him, not from anybody.

"Are you okay?" It was a little shock to say the least. Since her break-up with Morelli, Ranger had slowly begun to create a greater distance between himself and her. She had always thought that the reason was that, now, that she was single, his interest extinguished. That there was nothing interesting about her anymore, now, that he could have her so easily.

Though she didn't know it accurately. There were just too many hypotheses.

She just knew that he barely took care of her health. Hell, they rarely talked about anything else but the researches she had to make – _when_ they actually talked. It seemed like some barriers had appeared between them, and neither of the two of them was ready to break through them. Probably he even didn't want to.

"I'm fine," she answered quietly, still looking at the screen.

He was quiet for a moment, a moment in which she desperately hoped he had left her once again. But since her body was still trying to stay unaffected by his intense stare, she knew he was still there.

"Bobby had surveillance in the building at noon," he suddenly let his voice rise again. "He said that you got another visitor."

Stephanie turned around with wide eyes. The painful observation from a few minutes ago nearly forgotten, a fearful and at the same time desperate hope surfaced in her crystal blue eyes.

Ranger's gaze wandered for a moment over her slim figure, obviously taking in every reaction or emotion she allowed her body to show openly.

"Who?" she finally managed to ask, although not completely sure if she wanted to know who had tried to enter the RangeMan building in an attempt to visit her.

His dark eyes fixed themselves once again on her face, as if considering if he should answer. Suddenly his lips slightly curled up and she knew, he was amused by something. Although it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Grandma Mazur threatened Bobby with a gun, and your Dad was there, too."

Frowning, sincerely confused, she asked, "But why? What did they want?"

Ranger came towards her and kneeled down in front of her. One of his hands touched her cheek carefully, his clouded eyes looking deeply and cordially into hers. "Don't you know that?" he whispered.

She swallowed hard as she welcomed the heat that rushed through her body while his hand softly travelled her cheek upwards to her temple. "No."

His hand stopped and an almost sad expression crossed his face for a brief second, before it became much more blank than ever. "They are worried about you. They wanted to see you and to make sure themselves that you are all right." His voice sounded somewhat sympathetic, as if he knew what they were going through.

Ignoring her pounding heart, she tried to focus on her troubled feelings towards her family, instead of losing herself in his tender touch and his unaccustomed closeness. "They weren't worried about Joe and me. They just saw what they wanted to see, without thinking about me. Why should that attitude of them change now?" She blinked some tears away which involuntary blurred her view.

The accusation and disappointment in her voice were audible and Ranger gently took her hand in his. "I think you should talk to them. They really do care about you. I believe it was a big misunderstanding… whatever happened between you an Morelli."

She remembered his encounter with Joe a few hours ago and his harsh rebuff towards her. Who did he think he was, commenting on everything in her life but not actually trying to allay the pain he well knew she felt, to be there for her?

Her eyes narrowed and a faint shadow of anger filled them. "You don't know anything about it. Neither of Joe nor of my family," she hissed weakly.

His hands fell and a noticeable tortured look filled his chocolate eyes. "You're right. I don't know anything about you." He stood up in a single movement, shifting his gaze away from her. "But I'm definitely not the one who doesn't want to change it."

Stephanie's heart constricted, when she saw his almost helpless posture, and she was about to defend herself, but loud laughter cut her off. Her head jerked once again to the window, only to see Jeanne Ellen and Lester making jokes – surrounded by every other employee from the whole floor. Her hands clenched into fist and the regret that had filled her body a few moments ago, was suddenly replaced by cold emptiness. Tiredly she shook her head. She was done fighting – whether for men or for stupid dreams. "It doesn't matter," she whispered. "Apparently it never did."

Ranger didn't do anything as she grabbed her purse and hastily left the cubby, storming past the joking co-workers of RangeMan.

0000000000

Tank threw a questioning look at his boss who still didn't move. Hurriedly he headed towards the elevator himself, waiting till it came back upwards so he could follow Stephanie. Lester closely running behind him.

In front of the Truck, she was currently driving, they finally caught up with her and Lester kept a firm hold on her arm.

The set of keys she had fumbled with fell to the ground and she looked up at the two men in mild surprise. She didn't even fight Lester.

"I think we need to talk, Bombshell," Tank said softly.

She simply nodded in agreement. "What do you want to talk about?"

Lester put a strand of hair behind her ear. "You."

This time she didn't even look surprised at all. "Aren't you occupied already?" she asked Lester a little bit challenging.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "We really need to talk, Steph. Now."

Tank picked the keys up from the ground and went back to the building. "We're going to talk in my apartment."

Lester took Stephanie's hand and led her back to the front doors.

A few minutes later they made their way through the deserted floors of RangeMan until they reached Tank's apartment door. Once inside, Stephanie was seated across from both men on a comfy couch.

Tank watched as she tried to avoid looking at them. He gave her a few moments to arrange herself with the new situation, before finding a way to begin with the conversation.

Surprisingly for the men, it was Stephanie who talked first.

"Don't you think that's a little bit forced here?" she asked with a nervous laugh.

Tank folded his arms and looked her straight into the face. "Yes."

Finally looking up, the astonishment was evident in her blue eyes. "And you think that is a good basis to start a conversation like this? By using force?"

Lester flinched a little at her choice of words. Although it was kind of true. "Well, since you don't give us another chance, we have to do things we normally wouldn't do."

Tank wondered what Stephanie was thinking of them and the way they behaved towards her. If she really didn't see how concerned they were about her. Could she really be that oblivious?

"It never mattered before, why now?" she asked quietly while playing with her hands. "What does everybody want from me, now?"

"What do you mean?" Tank asked.

She shrugged. "Suddenly everybody acts like they would care about me. First Ranger, then Joe, my family… and now you."

Lester snorted, annoyed. "You really think we start worrying about you just when we got time to do so? Like a temporary distraction?"

She shifted uncomfortably and clasped her hands tightly together. "No. I don't know what I'm thinking. And I especially don't know what I'm supposed to think of you."

Tank could feel the frustration welling up in Lester's body and decided to intervene. "Ranger has been caring about you for a couple of years now, as well as many employees of RangeMan, including Lester and me. So don't think this here comes all of a sudden. Nobody knows how to approach you after your fight with Morelli, because nobody has an idea what was going on between you two. That's the mess, because we really want to help you, but you don't let anybody near you."

Stephanie didn't reply, but didn't look convinced either. She chewed her bottom lip and continued to watch her hands.

She was so stubborn.

Tank eventually realised that they maybe not had the ability to make her understand how important she actually was to them. Obviously her mind was focused on a certain image she had created of her environment which was hard to renew.

They couldn't do anything right in her opinion and somehow he doubted that being persistent would change anything. He got the impression that she maybe needed somebody who had nothing to do with any of them, somebody neutral.

"Stephanie, you have great issues, if you realise that or not. And obviously we cannot help you in any way. Maybe it would be best if you would go see an expert."

Her head shot up and fearful eyes landed on his. Tank was sure that he hadn't seen her this frightened in a very long time.

"No… A shrink?" she whispered, standing up slowly. "You wouldn't dare…" She shook her head hysterically.

Tank suddenly knew that was the wrong way. He stood up as well and tried approaching her to soothe her, but she receded and ran out of the apartment.

The second in command of RangeMan looked a little perplexed over his shoulder to Lester, who only shook his head and asked: "What did just happen?"

Tank shrugged. "I have no idea."

The following stunned silent was soon broken by a light chuckle from Tank, but it sounded somewhat sadly. "Ranger obviously does. I guess he knew it all along."

Lester couldn't quite follow his line of thought. "What do you mean, Tank?"

"We can't help her, Lester. Ranger knows that. That's why he keeps his distance - physically and emotionally."

Frowning, Lester sat back on the couch. "I don't think that explains his behaviour towards her."

"Probably not. Apparently there's more that we don't know about."

Lester snorted unsatisfied. "And that ought to reassure me?"

"No. But we have no choice if we don't want to lose her completely."

Nodding a little bit more sympathetic, Lester replied: "I guess, that's what Ranger's worried about, right?"

But Tank didn't answer. His mind travelled to his friend and suddenly he understood. There was more behind this whole mess than anybody could imagine:

Emotions were involved, stronger than they maybe realised it. Emotions that made it harder for everybody to handle the situation calmly and rationally. He had pity on his boss and friend. When he himself had major difficulties with treating Stephanie the right way, what should Ranger say? The man who had been in love with her for years now?

878700000000008787

You could say jealousy is a bad character trait if you would just see things perfunctorily. Well, sure, in some way it is – but in fact it reveals so much more of that person.

Jealousy is a great sign that somebody is not satisfied with himself, not approve the way oneself is.

Because only those people need to be jealous of other persons who believe devoutly that they lack of something. It certainly has also something to do with the question if they are good enough – whether in their own eyes or in the ones of others.

They are unsure. Slowly a deep and steady idea arises within them that something is wrong with them.

Now they observe other people. Notice how they appear, how they behave and how positive the environment reacts towards them.

And they want all that as well.

A self-confident person would most likely never get the idea to wish to be somebody else. He doesn't require that.

But to know who you are and to accept oneself for it, is a very complex issue, which already emerges in adolescence and actually never completely gets solved.  
To gain that self-respect back, it is a tough step which absolutely cannot be taken alone.

The problem at first is, to make those persons realise that there is nothing they have to be afraid or ashamed of. That they are precious creatures just like every other human being. And, for sure, that they do not need to change their personalities to _become_ valuable or beloved – because they already are.

The environment also has to realise that it often is not them who are ale to help her. When she is already that convinced of her worthlessness, people who are close to her are much likely too carried away by their own feelings to be able to help her.

And the there is only one option left: An outsider needs to be recruited to make her see things, she would not acknowledge from anybody else.

Only condition is that she is willing to open herself up to that outsider.


	6. The Outsider

Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Everything belongs to Janet Evanovich.

* * *

**Chapter 5 **

**The Outsider**

His name was Tank. _Tank_. Kind of suitable, he thought, but still, what kind of a name was that! He snorted disgustedly as he followed the much taller man around the building.

It was not something he had volunteered for, though.

He caught the other man casting him a warning glance and a smug grin appeared on his face.

'Very silly, but funny nonetheless', he thought, a little bit amused. As if he would cower at a simple glare like that …How ridiculous! He had obviously forgotten with whom he was talking to.

His gaze travelled across the room they were currently visiting and he did not even try to hide his distaste. Working in this company would definitely be a tough challenge.

Not for the first time in the last couple of dayshe cursed his father for his spontaneous and almost always stupid ideas. At least then when he was involved in those. But he would take care of that when he would have accomplished his task. Now he had to focus on the man in front of him.

Tank used little words to describe the meanings and functions of the cubicles they were passing, which were usually fitted out with the best technological products the market could offer at the moment.

He was not impressed, though. Quite the contrary, he had expected nothing less.

The rooms were small and the persons sitting in them only had a limited space to do their work. One bookcase, a wooden desk, some stools – nothing exclusive or extraordinary. In most of them there were not even flowers.

He craned his neck in a desperate attempt to find at least a reception with a nice long legged blonde woman in her early twenties to have some fun with, but no success.

He had to admit that things were even worse than he had first thought.

The building was so clean and frugallyappareled that he honestly wondered if Ranger was extremely stingy or just a boring jerk without any trace of fantasy. He remembered dozens of black cars back in the garage and decided it had to be the latter.

Some guys in equally black clothes as Tank appeared once in a while to simply shaketheir heads in an almost imperceptible nod that made him want to roll his eyes. Man, these guys were really odd. And why weren't there any girls? He started to curse his father inwardly againwhile outwardly seeming to listen intently to the sparse words Tank used in speech.

They had just gone around a corner when a certain encounter caught his eye. A furtive smile made its way on his lips, as he saw a cute brunette woman run towards them. Satisfaction filled his body by the realisation that there was at least one female co-worker in that company, when it got even more interesting as Ranger emerged. He slowed his pace and watched his new and already abhorred boss talking to the woman and he did not fail to recognise the intimate behaviour of the usually so reticent Cuban.

He simply ignored the slight growl coming from Tank, stopping a few yards ahead of him, and just straightened his posture to walk over to the couple.

As he came closer he even detected the soft touch in Ranger's eyes and he was nauseated by it.

He hid it well, nevertheless, and disturbed the noticeable intimacy of the two of them. He was very aware of the fact that Tank was ready to kill him – though he did not interfere yet—to save the woman the scene, obviously – and that Ranger turned immediately into a darker, kind of street mode and sent him silent threatening messages, but the thing that astounded him the most was the look of pain and fear in the woman's eyes that reminded him strangely of a wild animal being trapped in a small cage.

He put this thought aside and stepped between his boss and the unfamiliar woman, wearing a charming smile. He openly studied her appearance, as he paused mere inches away from her. She retreated backwards with a scared expression on her face and his smile deliberately deepened.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw the twitching muscle in Ranger's jaw and felt a cattily sensation of contentment. She had to be important to him…interesting.

His attention turned back to the still confused woman and he politely extended his hand. "Hi, my name is Matt. I am the new employee of RangeMan." He cocked his head to the side in a boyish manner. "I believe we have not met, yet. I surely would remember a beautiful woman such as you."

She looked taken aback at first, but soon put on a nearly blank face with just a slight hint of sadness. He wondered briefly what this was all about, but his mind got distracted by the sudden cognition of her uncommon beauty. She was indeed one beautiful woman. It was almost a shame that she obviously did not know about that.

She seemed to be slightly upset and he knew it had something to do with what he had said, but he had no time to think about it, when she hesitantly took his hand in hers. "My name is Stephanie," she whispered as he savoured the softness of her touch. Far too quickly she snatched her hand away to walk past him, forcing herself to give him a little smile, giving neither Tank nor Ranger another glance.

He felt the familiar prickle of triumph rising inside of him. At least there was one woman to entertain himself with. That made his hopefully short stay a little bit more convenient. A question about Ranger and hers relationship crossed his mind. It was quite obvious how affected Ranger was by the little lady, although she looked like she had no clue of it and seemed to be the most saddened female he had ever seen. Not that he was affected in any way or even considerate – quite far from it, but as he already had thought: Things appeared to become more interesting and enjoyable.

His thoughts were rudely interrupted when a big hand settled on the base of his neck and his body was slammed brutally against the near wall. He gasped for breath in surprise and looked up – directly into dark and menacing brown eyes.

Despite the knowledge of being in a disadvantaged situation towards his infuriated boss, he managed to smirk in the most calculating way. Things were getting even more amusing than he had ever expected them to be…


	7. Approaches

Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Everything belongs to Janet Evanovich.

* * *

**Chapter 6 **

**Approaches**

"Why is he here?" Tank inquired, sounding faintly annoyed and irritated, as he burst into the office of his boss.

Looking up briefly, Ranger continued working his way through a little mountain of paperwork.

"Weston wished for his son to be here," he curtly replied.

It was easy to tell that Tank was not anywhere near being satisfied by the way he folded his arms over his chest, clearly in a challenging way.

"Again, why? May I remind you that you're the boss here and not Salvatore Weston? He has no say whatsoever on what goes on in this company."

Finally abandoning the sheets in front of him and leaning back on his chair to give his full attention to his co-worker and best friend, it was clearly obvious that the dangerous Cuban male wasn't pleased with his friend's demanding behaviour at all.

"Well, thanks for reminding me, second in command."

Tank glared angrily. "Stop this childish attitude! You and I both know what a troublemaker and careless bastard he is." His features darkened. "Especially when women are involved."

Ranger stiffened and promptly pushed himself off of the stool, running a hand through his dark hair. "I'm very well aware of that," he growled in reply, not bothering to hide the stressed and rueful quality in his tone. "But Sal is a close friend in business, one out of a few we can actually trust. I sure as hell can't let him down. If he wants me to knock some sense into his useless brat of a son, then I will."

Tank raised an eyebrow. "Sal asked you to baby sit his own son?"

"Yes."

"What did he do this time?"

Grimacing slightly, Ranger leaned back against the window behind his chair. "Tried to fool the mob in order to get his own way in matters. They didn't take it well."

Tank snorted. "No surprise here."

For a moment tense silence emitted in the room, as both of the two men pondered over their own thoughts.

"I don't trust him," Tank quietly said, breaking the uncomfortable stillness.

Ranger closed his eyes tiredly, the images of the encounter between Matt and his Babe played itself in his mind. "I don't trust him either."

0000000000

"Hey Bombshell!" Bobby excitedly greeted, as he sauntered into her cubicle and pulled another chair up close to her. "How's my favourite girl today?"

Stephanie smiled briefly at him, taking her eyes of the Solitaire game she was currently playing on the computer. She wondered why he was in such a good mood.

"I'm fine," she automatically said.

Grinning widely, Bobby clapped his hands together. "That's great!" When her focus still remained on the computer, he suddenly leaned forward and took Stephanie's hands in his in order to get her full attention. A slightly puzzled expression crossed her face, as she looked up at him.

"Well, since you were very busy the last time I asked, I figured I would ask you again at a time when you'd be less occupied with your work."

Her brow furrowed questioningly, but she didn't snatch her hands away from his grasp, a fact that secretly pleased him.

"So I checked it, et voilà, mademoiselle is free! See, here's another chance for you! You, Hal and I are going out of town to a little, cute diner where they make the absolute most delicious donuts you've ever come to taste!"

He closed his eyes and licked his lips in anticipation.

Stephanie smiled a little bit, but then a disturbing thought crossed her mind. "You aren't going to try and get me to visit an… _expert_, are you?"

Bobby blinked several times. "Huh? What expert!"

Relief caused her tensed features to lighten up, as she let out a small sigh. "And, you are not going to get, you know, rid of me somehow?"

Bobby seemed to be clearly bewildered by now. "Of course, not! What do you think of us?"

A small genuine smile tugged at her lips, which immediately made Bobby forget what they had even been talking about a few minutes ago. Seeing her happy was a rare sight and it made him proud and cheery at the same time that he was the one that finally got a somewhat positive reaction out of her.

"So, you're up for the journey to the diner then?" he asked again, full of hope.

Stirring nervously, she turned to look away from him. "I'm not sure, Bobby… What if we run into… somebody…? I'm not ready to deal with anybody at the moment. Not now."

She knew she hadn't been quite herself in the last couple of weeks . She even acknowledged the fact that she kind of separated herself from her environment, but she wasn't ready to socialise again. Not yet.

Especially not since she was so confused lately. Her self-confidence was non-existent, her bright nature hidden under a blanket of sadness and fear, and her most famous character traits of being out-going and quite curious were long lost.

And in a way she even _felt_ lost.

Suddenly a cold shiver ran down her spine, making her hug herself tightly.

She didn't know what to think or believe anymore. Her feelings were going crazy and her instincts seemed to betray her.

In which direction should she turn? She needed advice, a leading hand that helped her through that chaos. But who could help her? Who cared enough to help her?

Bobby?

Her gaze wandered over to the man sitting in front of her, her eyes noticing the partly hopeful and partly dejected look in his large eyes as he patiently waited for her decision.

A little astonished she noticed as Bobby's larger hand suddenly reclaimed his hold on hers and gently squeezed it. Looking once more into his eyes, which now held a warm and reassuring quality, she felt something tugging at her heart.

Maybe he wasn't the one who could help her get out of the labyrinth her emotions had created, but maybe he could shove her into the right direction.

0000000000

"Bobby, I can't believe you dragged us to this… this – I don't even know what to call it," Hal dramatically exclaimed as he trailed into the diner behind Stephanie and his supposedly best friend.

Whacking him subtly on the head, Bobby shot him a glare and made himself comfortable at one of the tables in the back. He motioned for Stephanie to join him, whilst Hal sulked and took a seat across from him.

"I think it's nice," Stephanie quietly remarked as she took in her surroundings. The diner was rather small and cosy. A few tables in the room, the walls painted in different but nonetheless friendly colours like yellow and orange. Soft music played in the background, adding a comforting note to the diner.

Bobby beamed at Stephanie and cast Hal an 'I told you so' look. Snorting, the latter crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the waitress who strolled towards them, chewing unattractively on her gum.

"Hey ya, what d'ya want?" the younger girl asked as she fetched a pen and a notepad.

While Hal watched in morbid fascination how the girl chewed, mouth wide open, Bobby took the opportunity to order for the three of them.

"Bobby, the next time remind me that I will be the one to choose the location," Hal dryly said, as the waitress passed their orders to a man behind the bar.

"Aw, come on, man! Don't be such a pussy! Even Bomber likes it here!" Bobby teased.

Hal narrowed his eyes. "She's just polite."

Bobby grinned. "Yeah, and we all know you are – not."

"What do you want to imply, Mr-I-have-no-manners-and-so-I-bring-a-lady-to-a-no-manners-either-place?"

"Hey!" Bobby defiantly cried. "Why is it my fault the waitress is unable to keep her mouth shut?"

Hal grinned smugly. "Well, wasn't it you who suggested this place? I seem to recall you spoke rather fondly of this place," he tipped his fingers to his chin, all the while smirking at his friend. "Come on, just admit that you have a thing for the little waitress over there."

Bobby turned red. "I do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"How can you even think I'd have a thing for a girl half my age and with such disgusting manners?" Bobby nearly shouted, when suddenly the waitress came back with the orders. Wrinkling her nose, she put the beverages and the food on the table as if she hadn't overheard anything from the short conversation. However, before she left them alone once again, she turned one last time to Bobby, a malicious grin covering her face and in one fluid motion she dumped Bobby's coke over his head.

Hal burst out laughing at the sight of a stunned Bobby and had a hard time trying not to fall off of his seat. Bobby glared at the retreating back of the waitress and then focused his anger back on Hal.

The two of them however were startled due to seeing Stephanie laughing openly as well. Pressing one hand against her mouth, her whole body shook rhythmically and her eyes were squeezed shut tightly.

A warm smile made its way on Bobby's wet face and after changing a quick look with Hal, he muttered under his breath, "Nice to see you're still there, Steph."

0000000000

After the little incident, the waitress had obviously been assigned to another group of tables as she was not responsible for them anymore, and a fresh coke was placed in front of Bobby. Any attempts of reconciliation on the part of the manager of the diner had been politely rejected by Bobby who good-naturedly accepted Hal's mocking.

The three of them were now quite comfortable around each other, regarding the fact that even Stephanie tried to take a greater part in the ongoing conversation, or rather banter, and seemed to be genuinely enjoying herself.

At the present time, Bobby and Hal attempted to keep the light mood up by exhibiting embarrassing stories of each other. While the two men were eager to outdo one another, Stephanie was busy laughing and eating her donuts.

"… That was an accident! Anyway, I clearly remember a time when a certain someone had been attacked by a monkey when we were on a mission in the Congo…." Bobby hinted, as tried unsuccessfully to hide a smirk.

Hal turned white. "It wasn't a monkey! It was a big gorilla! In fact, it was a killer gorilla!"

Stephanie choked on her coke as she burst out laughing again. It felt good to laugh again; she couldn't remember when the last time was where she had this much fun. She was grateful that Hal and Bobby had persuaded her to accompany them, even though the two of them acted rather like little stubborn children than the grown-up ex-soldiers they were.

In a way it was odd to be sitting here, listening to their stories like they were old friends.

But it felt good. For a few hours Stephanie could actually forget her troubles and insecurities and just have fun.

Watching Hal and Bobby continue to banter and occasionally trying to get her involved, her smiled widened and her eyes twinkled in a way they hadn't for so long.

For a little while she felt like herself again.

0000000000

It was early in the evening the same day that Stephanie made her way through the empty corridors of RangeMan. Her mind was miles away, though.

Everything was back to normal – well, as normal as things could be. The boys had never uttered anything similar to this one stupid advice of getting psychological help again; Ranger was still his distant self; and no member of her former friends or her family had tried to contact her again.

She should be pleased that she was finally left alone again. But somehow she was not.

It was like after all the strange happenings in the last couple of days, she felt a certain void in her heart that needed to be filled. When she had been with Hal and Bobby at the diner a few hours previously, she had felt oddly content and happy.

She wasn't about to analyse that further, though. She wasn't sure if she would like her conclusions. It would only fuel her hope.

She stepped into the elevator and pressed the button for her floor.

There were other things that busied her enough.

An image of an angry Joe flashed through her mind.

It sounded somewhat pathetic, but she still dazed from the events of that particular day when Ranger came across him at the police station while she was sitting in the car. It had been the first encounter with her ex-boyfriend for weeks. Well, sort of encounter.

He hadn't looked good, she had to admit. His hair was more tousled than it used to be and he was slowly growing a beard. His eyes were weary, even dull. The way he moved seemed uncoordinated and kind of aimless, as if he wasn't sure himself what to do or where to go. He didn't have any similarity to the Joe Morelli she had once loved so much.

The elevator doors opened to reveal a deserted floor. Stephanie exited and headed towards her apartment at the end of the large corridor. Many employees of RangeMan lived in these apartments to her right and left side.

Intimacy with anyone felt awkward these days. Sure, she craved the companionship of others, but she didn't really know how to act around a person intimately and moreover, she wasn't sure how to make this wish noticeable. She was afraid of making the first move. To show people she actually didn't like her loneliness.

It didn't get easier by the persistent thought which haunted her through day and night that maybe they didn't want to end her lonesome life. They hadn't really made a significant effort until now.

But on the other hand, maybe she was just being selfish by losing herself in her pathetic hopes of somebody who could save her.

_He_ surely wouldn't. Not if he kept up his way of avoiding her.

She knew the signs of avoidance – she had followed them herself the past months. Keeping her head down, impart the impression better not to be approached by anybody. Ignoring phone calls and visits from other people. Eschewing places where lots of people were.

Well, all right, Ranger didn't exactly avoid her this way. He didn't _hide_ the way she did. After all, he was still the boss of a huge company with huge self-confidence.

And she was just a low employee with no self-esteem at all.

He simply avoided her by being on missions outside, flying to foreign countries for two or three days, capturing the big guys, checking the word on the street for several FTA's. It was mainly Tank who gave her the instructions for the day. Ranger rarely even called, not to speak of visiting her in her cubby.

Just his late night visits didn't quite fit. They somehow destroyed the picture she had begun to draw of him. All the other incidents seemed to indicate that he didn't care about her any longer, but why then break into her apartment at night? Why waste lots of useful time for recovering in her bedroom, just watching her?

She had no clue what that meant and she wasn't sure if she wanted to.

Stephanie shook her head violently to clear her mind of the depressing thoughts. It didn't lead to anywhere. She certainly wouldn't make a move, and Ranger obviously wouldn't either.

It was wasted energy to try and make this strange situation easier or less hopeless in her mind than it was.

A tired sigh escaped her lips and she studied rather absently the dark carpet underneath her feet. Black, of course.

So occupied was she with drowning herself in self-pity, she didn't realise the figure that materialised in front of her.

In the process the predictable came true when she ran into that person and was nearly knocked over by the sudden barricade.

A strong hand snaked out and prevented her fall.

Amused brown eyes locked with her wide blue ones, as she perplexed looked up to her _barricade_.

"Be careful, my dear, wouldn't want you to hurt yourself, now would we?"

His voice had a strange edge to it she couldn't quite figure out, although it was kind of disturbing, but his posture didn't impart any sign of disfavour or hostility.

She grinned cautiously. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to run you over."

Matt quickly interrupted her, "Oh no, don't apologise about something so trivial." His smile widened. "Especially when I get the pleasure to be run over by such a beautiful lady."

Stephanie smiled tightly and looked away. She wasn't comfortable with his flirting, although in a way it made her feel warm inside.

Inhaling deeply, her eyes refocused on his. A wave of guilt washed over her.

She had shut herself away from the people around her for long enough, so long that she wasn't sure anymore if the strained relationships could ever be fixed.

But he… he was new, he didn't know her. Knew nothing about her past or the things that happened. Maybe, maybe an outsider could help her. Maybe he could give her advice on a neutral basis.

He looked genuinely interested in her the way he smiled at her and behaved around her. In the last couple of days they had passed each other several times in the hallway or floors. He always seemed to be eager to talk or more precisely flirt with her. He paid her the kind of attention she craved – not from him but from someone else. Unfortunately this person didn't give it to her.

But Matt did. She really longed to have a close friend. And with Matt it would be so easy to have one. She wouldn't even have to approach him, because he did whenever he got the chance to.

Granted, Bobby and Hal did visit her more often now, but it still wasn't the same.

However there was still something that held her back, something that perturbed her about Matt and the way other employees of RangeMan treated him.

Hesitantly pushing the bad feeling aside, she decided to give him a chance. Anyhow, she had had her doubts concerning Hal and Bobby first, too, but now she had to realise how great friends they would be if she only let them. Maybe it was the same with Matt. After all, he was one of Ranger's men, wasn't he?

And Ranger did trust all of his employees. Thus could she too. Right?

0000000000

"Well, I'd say we've finally made some progress with Stephanie," Bobby proclaimed contentedly.

Tank threw a nasty look his way, which unfortunately didn't faze him the least.

"Come on, Tank, stop moping just because you were thickheaded enough to come right out with the suggestion of her going to a psychologist. You couldn't be any more subtle, now could you?" Hal countered and leaned back on the sofa.

Sighing, Lester patted Tank on his shoulder. "You know, man, they are kind of right. We were actually pretty blunt… And she hasn't been the most judicious person either. We should have known that she would take it the wrong way and would think we were only trying to dispose of her."

Tank rubbed his forehead. "I know, all right? Stop gloating, I know you did a fine job." It came out harsher than meant and he growled in frustration. "Sorry… I'm just pretty mad right now."

Munching some chips, Hal asked, "Why?"

Tank laughed humourlessly. "Ranger, of course."

The other three men nodded in understanding.

"I just can't understand why he's so… I don't know, it seems like he doesn't give a damn about Bombshell anymore and it makes me wanna throttle him."

Lester grinned evilly. "Best idea I've heard so far."

"I think he does care," Hal piped up, causing the others to stare at him in astonishment.

"And what would give you that impression?"

"Well, Bobby, unlike you I'm pretty aware that Ranger has changed too during the whole ordeal Stephanie has suffered through." He turned his head to Tank and stared at him, hard. "At least you should have noticed that."

Tank merely looked away.

"Like what?" Lester sarcastically asked, ignoring his last comment.

Shrugging, Hal put the chips away and smiled slightly. "Have you ever seen an emotional Ranger?"

Lester quirked one eyebrow. "Stupid question, don't you think?"

Hal grinned some more. "Maybe you should pay a little more attention to our boss then. He isn't as unaffected as he seems to be. Not at all." His gaze settled on Tank who understood the silent message and stood up, leaving the room without another word.


	8. Author's Note

Author's Note deleted.


	9. Progresses

Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own anything. Everything belongs to Janet Evanovich.

Author's Note: Though they most likely won't ever read this story, I want to dedicate this chapter to my father and my older sister, whom I love more than anything else. And to my mother whom I will never forget and always love. I miss you, mom, but I know that one day we'll see each other again.

* * *

**Chapter 7 **

**Progresses**

He closed his eyes, the taste of scotch still lingering on his tongue. It was midnight, but he couldn't find any sleep. He was tempted to down another cup of the liquor, but decided against it.

His gaze was unfocused in the unearthly tranquil darkness of his apartment, as he swirled the glass between his hands.

Relief washed over him when he thought about Stephanie and her visiting the diner with Hal and Bobby – although he had a hard time ignoring the little pang of jealousy. But it was good that she went out more often, or at least felt up to leave the company once in a while.

He wished he would have been with them. However, he doubted that if he had Stephanie would have been as relaxed as she obviously had been, true to Hal and Bobby's words. He considered this single event as a major step into the right direction. It had been months ago since she left the building, out of fear of meeting someone from her old life that would remind her of all the pain she suffered from.

How Hal and Bobby managed to make her agree in accompanying them was part of the mystery for him. Only God knew how often he had tried to make her coming with him.

But he was glad and relieved. She deserved to be happy, she deserved to being transformed back into the funny, crazy and caring woman she once had been. He couldn't stand seeing her in pain, especially not when he obviously couldn't do anything to make her feel better.

And this feeling of helplessness made him angry. He felt useless, as another burden for the single woman that meant so much to him. And it killed him.

He raised the glass to his lips and took another sip of his favourite scotch.

The thing, however, that stung the most was seeing her with Matt. He could tell that she tried very hard to be the old Stephanie Plum around him and it made him wonder why.

Knowing that Hal and Bobby had succeeded in making Stephanie feel comfortable around them was a great improvement; her developing a possible liking for Matt was a huge regression. And he would do everything he could to prevent the latter from getting any further.

Matt wasn't a nice guy. In this kind of business, you could rarely constitute people as _nice_. Because nobody was.

Therefore having Salvatore's only son attempting to get close to Stephanie was anything but reassuring. It was bad enough to have him here in the first place, but if he already tried to mess with their heads curtly after his arrival, Ranger wouldn't hesitate to intervene. Luckily Salvatore had given him full responsibility for handling any situation that might come up with Matt.

Sighing, Ranger rubbed his forehead. Maybe he was only exaggerating things that weren't truly that bad. Maybe he underestimated Stephanie and the progress she was about to make, but he couldn't help feeling sensitive when it came to her. The last weeks had been hard enough that every single hint of her feeling emotionally better was gladly accepted and cherished by him.

But no matter if Matt wasn't as interested in Stephanie as he thought he was or if she was really making progress – he certainly had to keep an eye on that boy. He wouldn't give him any opportunity to mess with any of them.

He emptied the cup and put the scotch away before leaving his apartment. Silently he closed the door behind him and was about to make his way to Stephanie's apartment, when a tall dark figure blocked his path.

Locking eyes with Tank, he saw the determination in his friend's eyes.

"We need to talk. For real this time."

Frowning, Ranger shook his head lightly. "Not now."

Before he could take a step forward, a hand grabbed his arm.

"Yes, now," Tank growled angrily.

Staring hard at the hand on his arm, then back at his friend's face, his demeanour clearly tensed.

"Let go of me, Tank."

They stared at each other for a while, then Tank sighed and let go, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"Ranger, we really need to talk. This can't wait. In fact, I think we've waited long enough."

For a moment Ranger clearly hesitated, but after that he turned around swiftly and opened his door reluctantly, his friend following him inside.

Tank took a seat across from Ranger on the couch and scrutinised his friend.

"Do you want to stare at me the whole night or is there actually a reason why you've come here? At this time of hour?" Ranger asked impatiently.

Tank raised an eyebrow, almost mockingly. "The way I see it you wanted to do something at _this time of hour_, too, so tell me, what was it?"

Ranger glared. "None of your business."

"Well, let me guess then. You were on your way to Stephanie's apartment, right?"

Ranger didn't answer but Tank knew that he was right anyway.

"You know, you should really decide what you want, Ranger," Tank spat out.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Ranger's voice was calm and deep, it reminded oddly on a tiger fixating on his prey.

"All day you act like you don't care about Stephanie. You're out most of the time and rarely visit her in her cubicle. Part of that is job related, I understand. But hell, you don't even talk to her at all anymore." Tank ranted. "And then, at night, you suddenly remember that she's still there and watch her sleep like a goddamn stalker!"

Ranger's eyes flashed and he was up in a minute, towering over Tank and hauling him up to his feet in one fluid motion. Soon after, Tank found himself rudely shoved against the wall. Wincing a little from the hard impact, he opened his eyes and looked into dark ones which burned with a dangerous fire.

"Say that again," Ranger quietly challenged, curling his hand around Tank's neck.

If Tank had been smart, he would have stopped this instant seeing as Ranger was obviously on the verge of going overboard. But Tank was fed up, too.

"You don't care about her."

The grip on his neck immediately tightened and Tank had a hard time to breathe.

Suddenly the pressure lessened as Ranger moved away from him, his face turned towards the window.

"You really think that?" he asked, his voice strangely quiet.

Tank eyed his friend carefully, noting how the tension seemed to drain out of his body.

He actually wasn't so sure about that anymore, so he refrained from answering and just continued watching Ranger.

The latter let out an uncharacteristic sigh. "I thought you knew me better."

Tank cringed involuntarily at his choice of words, remembering that not long ago Hal had said something similar.

"I thought I did know you, but I'm not so sure anymore. I'm not only your friend, but hers too. She hurts, Ranger, she hurts badly. And I don't see you do a thing about it. What do you expect me to think of that?" he softly said.

Ranger stayed quiet for a moment before he turned around and faced Tank again, a sad smile on his face.

"She doesn't want me, Tank. She neither trusts me nor does any attempt to talk to me." Shocked Tank saw Ranger's hands begin to tremble. "How can I be near her when she doesn't want me? I try to be her friend, Tank, I really do. Why do you think I let her stay here? Why do you think I gave her the job although it's quiet obvious she isn't in a state to accomplish her work properly and therefore I have another employee doing most of her work?" He raked a hand through his hair, his eyes wrenched from despair and another emotion Tank couldn't place.

"I care about her. I wanted to be there for her, at least as a friend. But she keeps pushing me away. She hasn't told me anything about her break-up with Morelli, or her troubles with her family. I have no clue what's going on in her life. But I offered everything I have anyway. And she declined. Every damn day for months now. She doesn't talk to me, doesn't look at me, hell, she doesn't seem to notice I'm there at all!"

Ranger clenched his hand into a fist, but all of a sudden all anger and frustration left his body and he slumped down onto the couch. "She doesn't want me, Tank, and it kills me."

Tank inhaled sharply. His heart wrenched by seeing his friend in so much despair. Ranger had never acted the way he did now and it was both scaring and relieving to see he was after all only human too.

And suddenly he felt guilty. During all this time worrying about Stephanie's condition he had totally forgotten about Ranger. His friend was obviously hurting too and he hadn't even noticed.

Gulping uneasily he fetched a half emptied bottle of scotch and filled two glasses, then sat down on the couch next to Ranger.

Drinking seemed like a good idea right now.

0000000000

The next morning, Matt moodily looked at the screens in front of him. He had been sitting there for a few hours now and he was bored to death. Surveillance certainly was awful. And his two partners weren't much of a help either. They remained silent for the whole time and every attempt on his account to start a conversation was soon shattered, when the two guys rarely replied.

He was going insane.

Luckily his shift ended now and he had a one hour break. He planned on cruising around, searching for something funny in this boring town.

A single person appeared on one of the monitors and he got another, more appealing idea.

Taking a look at the clock, he decided it was time for his break.

Stephanie was on her way to her cubicle. It was about eight o'clock and she was still a little sleepy. She hadn't slept well again and it was really getting to her.

Sighing she opened the door to her cubicle and stepped inside, coming to an abrupt halt when she spotted the tall figure sitting at her desk.

"Good morning, Steph," Matt greeted with a charming smile plastered across his face.

Stephanie smiled slightly and entered the room, closing the door in the process.

"Hey, Matt."

"You look tired," Matt remarked as he looked at her with concern in his eyes.

Stephanie felt warmth spread out inside of her and her smile widened.

"I haven't slept well, but it's okay."

Matt looked thoughtful for a moment before he jumped to his feet and clasped his hands together.

"You know what? We should go out and get something for breakfast."

Stephanie looked at him slightly taken aback. "Huh? You didn't eat something this morning?"

He rubbed his neck and shrugged. "Well, no, I was on surveillance."

He rolled his eyes playfully.

"But I have to work now-" Stephanie began to protest as Matt interrupted her.

"Doesn't matter. My treat, order whatever you want, wherever you want and I'll be the happiest man on earth." He said while looking deeply into her eyes.

Stephanie swallowed uneasily and went over to her desk.

"I'm sorry, Matt, but I really can't. Ranger wouldn't like it."

Matt rolled his eyes again when she wasn't turned away from him. "I'm sure Ranger won't mind. You can do your researches later, and come on, the man responds to your every wimp like a puppy dog. You could easily use that to your advantage."

Stephanie whirled around sharply, her eyes narrowed. She felt an old spark of temper rise inside of her. "You have no idea what you're talking about! I said I'd work and I want you to respect that. Leave this cubicle. Now."

Realising his mistake, Matt cursed inwardly and held up his hands in surrender.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. It's just that Ranger and I are not exactly buddy-buddy with each other, so I'm a bit edgy when it comes to him."

Stephanie watched him for a moment. Her eyes still reflected the anger and hurt she felt. "What do you mean Ranger and you aren't buddy-buddy?"

He scratched his neck and grinned at her apologetically. "Not important. And now come on, I don't know a thing about this town and I'm certainly clueless as to where you can get a nice breakfast – which is preferably nothing like the rabbit food of RangeMan."

He shuddered disgustedly and Stephanie chuckled lightly. She was surprised to realise that she really did want to go with him. Maybe this was her chance to get her old self back – through a man who didn't share a past with her.

And didn't Hal and Bobby advise her to go out more often?

Looking up at him, she nodded once, smiling again. "Okay, let's go."

Matt smiled slyly to himself and led her out of the building to his car.

0000000000

"Maybe we should really talk to Morelli. He certainly knows more about the cause for her current state than we do – I mean he most likely _is_ the cause," Lester reasoned as he and Ranger went over the information of a skip.

"I already talked to him."

Lester furrowed his brow thoughtfully. "Uh, I don't think I remember…"

Ranger looked up from the file in his hands. "I talked to him, but he didn't tell me anything. There's no use in interrogating him further, even if he knew more than we do he most likely wouldn't tell us."

"Oh," was the only thing Lester could muster, seeing as he didn't know that his boss had consulted the cop already. "Well, I still think we should pay him another visit. I'm sure he is to blame for the better part and I'd like to finally pay him back for doing whatever he did to Stephanie," Lester heatedly responded.

"Maybe. However I'm not sure if he's the one to take full responsibility on that." Ranger's next words sounded oddly forced, even in his own ears. "He's a good guy. And he loved her."

Lester raised one eyebrow. "You really think that? I don't. It can't be love if you want to change the person into something completely different." He shot him a meaningful look. "And even good guys sometimes do stupid things."

Ranger's eyes turned blank. "Morelli did what he thought was best for her." It intrigued him himself that he was defending the cop, but in a way he could understand him. Well, except for the way he used to treat his Babe or that single night when the former couple had fought…

Lester wasn't sure how to respond since he had a completely different opinion on that one. He was still a little bit amazed that Ranger had actually shared some of his most secret thoughts with him and even he knew that it would be better, not to push further now. Maybe another time though.

But the fact that Ranger stood up for Morelli caused him somehow to muse. What exactly was going on in the mind of his boss? As far as he knew, he hadn't made any serious move to discover what had happened to Stephanie yet. A great surprise remembering the intimate moments they had had in their past.

Obviously Tank's point was being proven right when he said Ranger was somewhat responsible for Stephanie's behaviour as well.

"Well," Lester eventually started again. "What are you going to do about Stephanie? It can't go on like this forever. Although she is somewhat willing to go out with Bobby and Hal it's only a very small step. And as her reaction to Tank and me showed she's still awfully sensitive to her surroundings. Even when she is going to hang out with us more often I fear she'll still shut herself mentally out so no one can reach her. We have to find a way to prevent that from happening, Ranger. And I believe you could be a major factor to help with that."

Ranger paused and looked at him in a funny way Lester didn't know how to interpret. His boss was about to open his mouth and respond as the phone suddenly started to ring.

Ranger closed his mouth again and frowned as he picked up the phone.

"Talk."

Lester watched as he listened to the voice on the other end, his face darkening considerably. Not a good sign.

A few minutes later he hung up the phone and turned to Lester. Seeing the unspoken question in his eyes, Ranger said, "This was Sal. I've got to leave the town for a while."


	10. Fed up

Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own anything. Everything belongs to Janet Evanovich.

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**Chapter 8**

**Fed up**

Tossing and turning around in her bed, Stephanie heaved a heartfelt sigh before switching on the bedside lamp and sitting up, rubbing her tired eyelids. It was really strange, actually quite contradictory, but since Ranger had gone for this secret mission of his, she felt like she couldn't sleep at all anymore. God only knew where he went and what he was doing at the time being.

Admittedly, she was worried about him and his well-being.

But moreover there was a more selfish reason why she wasn't able to get any rest: She felt alone.

You may now interject that she felt this way already at an earlier point of time, but this was different. The extent of being lonely gained suddenly new ground.

In the last few years she had collected quite a number of close friends and acquaintances through her job and her pretty chaotic life. Though only few could be really counted as being _close to her_.

Her family had been close to her. Her mother with her never ending rants about wanting a respectable son-in-law and many grandchildren; her father and his little but effectual interjections; her perfect sister with the kids and Albert Kloughn; and of course Grandma Mazur – the crazy woman who truly possessed some morbid and juvenile habits.

How much she missed them.

Although they all had had their quite share of quarrels and disagreements, they still had been a family; a working family with its own bunch of unique characters.

And then there was Mary Lou. They had been best friends since they were teenagers and Stephanie was grateful for this deep and long prolonged friendship. They had been through a lot of good and bad things, and the both of them knew they could rely on each other no matter what. It had always been like this.

Next would be Joe Morelli, Trenton's hottest cop. They went back to childhood, a time when he tried to play choo-choo with her. Their relationship had been complicated right from the start and had only got worse over the years. At one point they actually fell in love with each other, though it didn't make it any easier for either of them that their feelings were running deeper all of a sudden. Despite everything there was something unexplainable which drew them to each other and bounded them together. Something the both of them could neither let go nor ignore.

Connie and Lula shouldn't be forgotten as well. They definitely helped to make working for her cousin Vinnie a whole lot easier and way more interesting. It was always refreshing to hang around these two and exchange pointless gossip.

As for acquaintances and loose friends there existed a huge number of those. Carl Constanza, Big Dog, Dougie, just to name a few. They all supported her in one way or another, even if it meant to stretch the law a little.

And then there was Ranger.

A sob escaped Stephanie's lips as her thoughts continued to wander to the last person that had meant more to her than she ever thought possible and now betrayed her so badly. She shook her head vehemently, not wanting to dig any further into the mysterious man that promised her shelter only to abandon her in her safe shack.

She yanked the sheets off of her body and tiptoed across the room straight to the kitchen.

And as if it wasn't bad enough that Ranger had left her, Stephanie knew for a fact that Jeanne Ellen accompanied him and apparently only _she_.

A cold shiver ran down her spine and she wrapped her arms around herself protectively.

Ranger had been gone for four days now and slowly the feelings of sadness and loneliness were wearing off while new emotions appeared: Frustration, anger, weariness. Oh yes, she was weary of this life. Weary of how much everything had changed. And she was sick of the pressure to change again. Why should she? It didn't matter who she was, the problems wouldn't go away if she pretended to be happy.

Suddenly she saw things a little clearer. She understood. Obviously she wasn't welcome at RangeMan anymore. Lester's and Hal's attempts, Bobby's and Tank's worries – they were all lies. After all, Ranger was their boss, wasn't he? Their boss and friend. They fought for each other in wars and in normal life situations, and shared a past no oblivious citizen could ever sympathise with.

So when Ranger didn't care about her, why should they? She was so sure they didn't, but why did they seem to be sincere whenever they tried to make her go out with them?

It was about three o'clock on a Friday morning when Stephanie's head hit the kitchen table next to an empty bowl of doughnuts. Just another night of disturbed sleep.

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Tank leaned against the door frame, his bulky arms crossed over his chest while his narrowed eyes observed his female co-worker. The emotional roller-coaster Stephanie was feeling was somewhat understandable, though not completely due to the fact that nobody knew what exactly caused her change in behaviour.

But he was willing to put this fact aside, for now.

The thing that was truly bothering him was that she began to retreat herself into a shell yet again. He wouldn't go as far as to say that she had made exceeding progress in the last couple of weeks, but he did like to think that her old spark had perked up again.

Tank gritted his teeth. He really had enough. All this bouncing back and forth, all those times they cheered because they were convinced they finally made some progress with her only to discover she distanced herself once again.

He had enough of it all.

He wanted to know what the hell happened between her and Morelli, he wanted his Bombshell back and he wanted Ranger to be happy. Was this too much to ask for?

"Stephanie," he quietly said, casually stepping into the room.

She winced visibly and looked over at him warily. Was she afraid?

"Hi Tank." Her voice was barely audible.

He rubbed a hand over his face, letting her see how tired he was of all of this.

"What's wrong, Stephanie? Why are you doing this?"

"I don't know what you mean," she carefully replied, all the while making sure not to catch his eye.

He nodded dejectedly and a small sad smile spread over his face.

"Just because you're pushing us out of your life doesn't mean we're not concerned for you anymore… or stop caring about you."

Something flashed in her eyes, but he couldn't quite read the emotion.

"There's work I have to do, Tank," she softly said. "I don't want Ranger to think any lower of me."

Tank turned to her sharply.

"What did you say?"

She bit her lip, her voice trembling as she finally spoke the thoughts out loud that haunted her in her dreams.

"I've lost everything, Tank, one fight with Morelli and I lost everything I had and loved. I lost my family, my friends … and now I even lost Ranger, the only thing that was left for me." Tears shimmered in her sad blue eyes. "I always thought he would be there for me, no matter what. He would care for me and even though I wasn't sure what we could give each other, I hoped that maybe he did feel something for me. At least friendship. But now I see I was wrong."

Her voice broke and Tank was unable to do something. Finally she talked about some of her feelings, but he was unsure how to react. It should have been Ranger who talked to her.

"I know he doesn't care, I mean it's blatantly obvious, and… it's okay. So stop pretending you would care, because why should you? You're his friends, of course you're sticking to him."

Now Tank felt his blood begin to boil.

"What do you think of us? That we're some stupid puppets that only live to serve Ranger and his will? We have our own minds, you know. We decide on our own whom we like and whom not." He rubbed the back of his neck in frustration, thinking of how to comfort the woman in front of him.

Even though she didn't allow a tear to spill out of her eye, he still could see the steady sadness in her eyes that was oddly familiar to him by now.

"Stephanie…," he said, taking a tiny step forward. "Of course, we care, and so does Ranger. We are just not really good at showing it."

A bitter smile appeared on her face and Tank was somewhat taken aback.

"Tank, this has gone long enough. It has to end. I'm just a burden, you don't need to deny it. I know it, anyway. I was a burden to Morelli, I was a burden to my family, to my friends… I should have known that you would get tired of me someday, too. I'm sorry I bothered you this long. But don't worry, tell Ranger, that's over now. He won't have to worry about it when he comes back."

With that said, Stephanie took in a shaky breath, straightened her composure and would have walked straight out of the cubicle, if it wasn't for Tank, who grasped her arm and held it in a firm grip.

"Damn it, Stephanie. Stop it." Both of his large hands settled on her shoulders and he began to shake her lightly. "You are _not_ a burden! Whoever said that is a moron and I'll kick his sorry ass!" he growled, meaning every word he just said. "You need to understand-"

"No!" she suddenly screamed, which left Tank in quite a shock since he hadn't heard her raise her voice in a really long time. Therefore Stephanie was able to wriggle her way out of his arms. "I don't need to do _anything_! _You_ need to understand that this is who I am. This is Stephanie Plum! And if you don't want me for who I am, then so be it." She pointed her index finger at herself to emphasise her point.

Tank shook his head adamantly. "No, Steph, this is not you. You're-"

"Who?" she quietly asked. "Who am I?"

Tank opened his mouth to reply, but the lost look on her face, the dejection and hurt he could faintly detect in her posture, it all made his mind go blank. In its place appeared the strong urge to comfort her and protect her from everything that threatened to harm her in any way.

But how? How to approach her?

Eventually Tank was bursting. "God damn it, Stephanie! Wake up from your lethargy! Of course, we care! Of course, we know who you are! You are the strong and stubborn person who does what she wants! The person who doesn't take crap from anyone! The person who we all love because of her uniqueness!" He shot her a look full of meaning, as he continued in a low and controlled voice, "And this are you certainly not at the moment. Stop hiding, Stephanie, and let us help you."

Stephanie stared at him for a moment, not fully comprehending what he had said. Then a melancholic smile came to her face, as she bowed her head.

It was pointless. They didn't even know that this was the real her. People did develop, right? So why couldn't they understand that after all she had been through, all those disasters and threats and near-death situations, that she didn't go completely unharmed out of it all? That there had to be a point where it just all got too much? Just the tip of the iceberg had been missing to snap something inside of her.

And those few months ago it had.

Why couldn't they understand?

An uncomfortable silence filled the little room. Stephanie's chest heaved heavily with each breath she took, her cheeks were flushed from anger and she felt so weak all of a sudden. During this heated argument she had mentioned so many things that hinted at the insecurities she felt or the problems of her past that led her to this point in her life, and yet she knew it didn't matter.

People still seemed to have a certain image of her that they all holding on to, clutching it tightly and throwing it back into her face every chance they got. But this was the point. She was _not_ this person they all thought she was. She didn't know exactly who she was either, but certainly not the person everybody else saw.

It was as if somebody had wrapped her up in a false façade that she detested, but everybody else accepted.

Why did nobody see the real her? Why did nobody see her pain?

And it were these two questions that made it irrevocably clear for Stephanie that nobody wanted to see her pain – because nobody cared.

And then all these pretences from Tank, Bobby, Hal, Lester and all the others – there were just lies.

Her whole life seemed suddenly be founded on lies, pretences and false feelings.

She realised that now.

There was a loud tap on the door frame as a new figure entered the scene.

"What is going on here?"

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Matt was feeling rather happy at the moment. His job was no challenge at all, the man he loathed was on a business trip for an unlimited time frame and there was nothing there anymore between him and the woman of his current interest.

Life was truly easy.

It was in the evening, when he yawned and lazily stretched his limbs before exiting the control room. His shift had ended for the day, which meant it was time for him to have a little fun.

Those thoughts immediately led him to a certain woman, probably sitting not too far away in a boring, little cubicle.

A predatory smile grazed his features as he headed over to said cubicle in order to visit the aforementioned woman.

However, as he came into earshot, he was utterly surprised to hear two heated voices in a screaming match. He frowned lightly. He hadn't noticed anything on the monitors, neither had the other two, or at least they hadn't mentioned anything. He shrugged it off carelessly. He hadn't been a very responsible co-worker so far – which he didn't intend to change – while the others on duty with him probably thought it was best to let the two discuss it out, whatever they were discussing.

But Matt clearly had a problem with that. He wanted to convince Stephanie to go out with him, maybe this time to one of the more naughty locations in Trenton instead of one of those plain boring cafes.

And Matt wasn't a very patient person. He had no intention to wait until they had sorted out their silly problems. In addition, if he waited too long, Stephanie might get too upset over what Tank said to her that she would decline his offer and refuse to leave the building with him.

And that was no option at all.

He chose a moment of total silence between the two to make his presence known. He put on an easy smile and casually entered the room, walking past an agitated Tank, straight to Stephanie. His eyes wandered over her reddened cheeks, the wrinkling of her forehead and most of all the water in her striking blue eyes.

Displeased he turned back to Tank, unconsciously positioning himself directly in front of Stephanie as if to protect her physically. He had no clue what the argument was about, but it he knew for sure that it disturbed him to see his only entertainment at RangeMan so upset. He had never been one to read other people's emotions – for it had never been of any interest to him – but her pain and her anguish were so visible that he felt the need to take matters into his own hands.

He cocked his head seemingly playful to the side, while gazing disdainfully at the second in command.

"Back off, Tank. You're clearly crossing the line here." His voice, too, held not a pleasant tone.

Tank looked at him incredulously, then over to Stephanie. He didn't exactly get what was going on.

"Get out of here, Matt, this is none of your business," he growled.

Matt only smirked in reply.

"Sorry, buddy, can't do." The word buddy came out more like a profanity.

Tank looked like he was ready to pound him and only restrained himself because Stephanie was there.

"What are you doing here, Matt? It's not like you really care about Stephanie anyway."

He heard Stephanie inhale soundly behind him and cursed inwardly. Of course he did not care, why should he?

"Of course I do care, moron." He sent him a burning glare, before looking behind him at Stephanie, letting his gaze deliberately soften at the sight of her. "You're a wonderful person, Stephanie, inside and out. He's a fool for not cherishing such a beauty as you are."

Tank snorted in disbelief as he heard him uttering those words, but Matt looked unwaveringly into the eyes of the woman standing before him, whose eyes slowly filled with naïve hope. Mentally Matt made a note to remember that Stephanie was to be inveigled by outright declarations of adoration and affection, as he humoured her with a charming smile.

Stephanie couldn't help the small smile that soon appeared on her face. At least Matt saw her for who she was and accepted her. It was a good feeling. She ignored her little inner voice that told her to be careful with Matt and his intentions; she was sick of being careful around people. She needed someone, a friend, and Matt was the only one she would consider letting get close to her.

"Stephanie, don't believe him! He's a cunning, little bastard who-"

Stephanie rose a hand, successfully silencing him as she tiredly shook her head. "Enough, Tank, it's enough."

All energy left her body and she only wanted to get out of here. The building seemed suddenly too small and she felt suffocated.

Matt placed a comforting hand on her forearm and proceeded to drag her out of the room and into the elevator despite Tank's loud protests.

She closed her eyes as she pressed a hand to her forehead, thus missing the look full of triumph and wickedness Matt threw at Tank before the doors shut.

There were no words spoken as Matt took charge and drove them to a bar he had spotted on one of his tours through town. He was certain that Stephanie wouldn't approve of his choice, but he didn't dwell on it. After all, he had saved her from a painful argument and now he was even willing to cheer her up. She didn't have to know that his oh so good deed served his purposes quite well…

Stephanie finally opened her eyes as the car came to halt, and was positively astonished to find herself in one of the side roads of Stark Street.

"Come on, Steph. Let's have a drink. I gathered you could need one."

She cast an uncertain glance at the street, before hesitantly nodding. Matt went around the car to open the door for her and she wobbled out onto the street slightly apprehensively. Matt, however, ignored it and again took her arm to lead her inside of the bar.

The sticky air full of smoke was the first thing Stephanie noticed. The light was dimmed as to a degree where it provided a mysterious mood. A few customers sat in the back of the room, playing cards, smoking cigars or talking in hushed whispers.

Stephanie didn't feel comfortable as she felt a couple of eyes on her, but tried to ignore them as she followed Matt to the bar on the left side of the room. They took two seats in front of the bartender and Matt ordered a beer and a margarita.

Matt seemed to finally notice her nervousness and shot her a dazzling smile, while squeezing her hand reassuringly.

"I'm here, Stephanie. It's all right, I'm here."

And how she had yearned to hear someone say those words to her.

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The evening flew by in a blur. Stephanie was keen to forget all about the hurtful argument with Tank that she didn't realise that Matt was eager to keep the alcohol coming.

Stephanie was just loosening her carefulness and began to tell Matt of the argument with Tank and her complaints, while suddenly a loud squeal silenced the whole room.

Slightly dizzy, Stephanie stopped her monologue and turned around to see what was happening, as two quite familiar figures came into her field of vision.

She narrowed her eyes in order to see clearer, confusion clearly written all over her face as she asked, "Mary Lou? Lula? What are you doing here?"

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_I want you to understand that the main problem in this story is the lack of communication between the characters. There are a lot of misunderstandings, but nobody makes the first step to sort them out._


	11. Unwanted and unexpected help

Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own anything. Everything belongs to Janet Evanovich.

Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who reviewed! As a warning: This chapter contains a lot of swearing.

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**Chapter 9**

**Unwanted and unexpected help**

"I can't believe Sal asked us to do this," Jeanne Ellen complained, placing her guns on the table in front of her. "Doesn't he have people working for him that are capable of doing this?"

Ranger nonchalantly sat down on the sofa across from her while checking his cell phone and pager for messages. "You know how important this is to him. He doesn't trust many to do this properly."

Jeanne Ellen rolled her eyes in annoyance. "Sal has freaking trust issues if you ask me," she grumbled.

Ranger only raised an eyebrow at her choice of words but refrained from answering.

Comfortable silence hung between them for a few peaceful minutes as Ranger went on checking his messages and Jeanne Ellen carefully watched him. Eventually a knowing smirk came to her face, making her look like a smug cat that just found the trapped mouse.

"So, how's it going with Stephanie Plum?" she asked and couldn't help but notice Ranger stiffening. "Or shall I say the Bombshell?"

"What is there to tell?" Ranger replied, still not looking up at her.

"Cut the bullshit, Ranger!" Jeanne Ellen demanded. The smug expression on her face replaced by one of anger.

"She's fine," Ranger tersely offered, his jaw clenched visibly.

"She's not _fine_!" Jeanne Ellen said, frustration evident in her voice. "Tell me what's really bothering her."

Ranger cast her a fleeting but quite threatening glare. "Didn't know you cared."

Sulking, she forced herself to calm down, though it didn't really work. "That's because I don't," she replied, and noticing his lifted eyebrow added, "But I do care about you and I know how important she is to you."

Sighing, Ranger finally gave up his pretence and stuffed his cell phone and pager back into his jacket pocket. "Let it go, Jeanne. That doesn't concern you."

Narrowing her eyes into slits, she let a rather animalistic growl escape her lips. "What the hell! Don't you dare talk to me like that! It sure as hell concerns me! And now tell me what the fuck is going on!"

"Language, Jeanne," Ranger reprimanded in a low and dangerous voice, "and keep your temper in check."

"Stop avoiding my questions, Ranger!"

Ranger's eyes darkened considerably and Jeanne Ellen had a hard time keeping her furious countenance up. It was not easy when facing an even more furious Ricardo Manoso. Ranger rarely showed so much emotion like he had in the last few minutes and there were even fewer occasions when he lost his temper. That alone was reason enough for her to know much she needed to help him solve this tricky situation with one Stephanie Plum. She knew she crossed a line by meddling with his personal affairs, but it was quite obvious in her opinion that he and Steph only hurt each other by dancing around the really important things. It had to stop, even if it meant her being the trigger and bearing Ranger's full rage. She would rub it into his face later when everything was fixed.

"She's distancing herself from me. So how should I know what's going on with her?" Ranger shouted.

Jeanne Ellen contemplated him silently as his black eyes wandered to the wall behind her. He looked vulnerable, lonely, lost. Jeanne Ellen felt a pang in her heart to see him like that. She never would have thought that a woman could reduce him to this. If it wasn't so painfully obvious that Stephanie Plum felt something for her mentor as well, she would have pitied him.

But now she only felt disgust.

"Have you tried to talk to her?"

"Yes."

"Have you tried to spend some time with her?"

"Yes."

Jeanne Ellen frowned. "Well, there has to be something you did wrong."

Ranger turned to her sharply, one of his hands curled into a fist. "Why does everybody here accuse me of doing something wrong? Do you have any idea what I'm feeling? What I'm going through myself?" He hesitated for a second, but didn't dare continue.

Jeanne Ellen rolled her eyes. "You're an idiot."

"What?" Ranger scoffed in disbelief. „Why the hell are you insulting me?"

"Language," Jeanne Ellen mocked him, but turned serious again as his fist twitched dangerously. "Okay, I'm going to tell you something you should have long figured out all by yourself."

Ranger didn't react except for relaxing a little and folding his hands casually while his eyes studied her face. "And that would be?"

Crossing her legs she threw an ironic smirk his way. "She's jealous of me."

Ranger blinked a few times, obviously not sure if he heard her correctly. "She is not."

She rolled her eyes in exasperation. "That's the problem. You know nothing about the workings of a female mind."

After waiting for a reply from him for a few minutes, she slammed the palm of her hand down on the table. "Stop being such a pathetic coward! Take your fear of being rejected by her aside and help her the way you should! This is not about you, this about her!" she irritably screamed causing Ranger to stand in one fluid motion.

They were both in for a long night.

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"Steph? What the hell!" Lula screamed joyously before enveloping Stephanie in a tight hug. "I can't believe you're here!"

When Lula finally let go of her friend it was Connie's turn to give the ex-bounty hunter a heartfelt greeting.

"It's been so long," Connie murmured as she stroked Stephanie's hair.

"Connie…" Stephanie whispered uncertainly, stumbling back slightly as the steadying arms of her friend left her body.

Connie covertly brushed a few tears off of her face when her gaze fell upon Matt. Furrowing her brows in thought she let her eyes travel his proud form up and down. There was a polite smile on his face but the tenseness in his demeanour and the cold calculating look in his eyes created a different picture.

Scrutinising his face once again, triumph flooded her as she recognised him. "You're Matthew Weston." If there was someone who could recognise a member of the mob when they saw one it would be Connie.

He inclined his head a little, careful not to scowl at her. "That would be correct. And what, may I inquire, are the names of you beautiful ladies?"

Lula snorted as she put the glass of vodka out of Stephanie's reach while ignoring her protests.

"Such a slimeball," she muttered while regarding her drunken friend closely.

"What did you say?" Matt asked, loosening some of his oh so polite appearance.

"What have you done to her?" Lula angrily countered, not the least bit fazed by Matt's dramatic change in character. Frankly, she did not notice. She was too distracted by the poor appearance of her missed friend.

Matt snorted and took a large sip of his water. "What are you talking about? I've done nothing to her, all right."

"Do ya think I'm stupid?" Lula bellowed, taking a good look at his face for the first time. "Where's Ranger?"

A cruel smirk briefly adorned his face before it turned neutral. "Not here, obviously."

"We can see that, too," Connie replied, in the process cutting off Lula who looked like she wanted to curse at Matt really badly. Connie didn't think it was a good idea to make Matt truly angry. As she had heard through her connections he could be pretty scary. There were a lot of rumours about him.

Emptying the glass of water, Matt walked over to Stephanie and gripped one of her arms. She barely acknowledged it. "I think I'm going to take her back to her apartment at RangeMan's," he said, smirking contentedly at her drunken and weakened state.

"No way in hell," Lula promised, positioning herself protectively in front of Stephanie's slumped figure. "We are bringing her back home."

He took a threatening step towards her, trying to intimidate her with his large and thoroughly muscled frame.

Lula, however, seemed to ponder something. "You know, you remind me of somebody."

Connie shook her head. "Not now, Lula."

But of course, Lula didn't listen. Instead she grinned. "You look a lot like Kurt."

Matt arched an eyebrow, both in confusion and annoyance. "Kurt?"

"Your ex-pimp Kurt?" Connie asked to accelerate the inevitable.

"That's the one," Lula affirmed, smirking as she saw the horrified expression on Matt's face. "His dick was just as short as his name."

Connie groaned while Matt blanched in disgust as he looked her up and down. When Lula placed a fleshy hand on his biceps and fluttered her eyelashes at him, he retreated quickly.

Hiding a grin, Connie realised what her friend was doing. Lula, encouraged by Matt's reaction, left Stephanie in Connie's care and continued to advance on Matt – all the while talking dirty to him.

Meanwhile Connie crouched next to Stephanie and softly brushed a few strands of hair out of her friend's face.

"Where's Ranger?" she asked, so softly that only Stephanie could hear.

A small sob escaped Stephanie's throat which alarmed Connie. "Don't know. He's on a secret mission. With Jeanne Ellen." She sniffed a little and leaned her head on the counter. Her eyelids fluttered a few times before she moaned, "I'm feeling sick."

Connie sighed and decided that it was no use to talk to her right now. Turning to Matt she watched as he sat quite helplessly on a stool with Lula hovering over him, trying to give him a lap dance. Matt's eyes were glued to the neon green spandex in horror.

Chuckling, Connie heaved Stephanie to her feet and lead her out of the bar to Lula's car. It was quite difficult for her because she had to support most of Stephanie's weight. Through the window she could see the profile of Matt and Lula and laughed as she saw that Lula had handcuffed Matt to the stool. No wonder he looked so panicked.

Leaning Stephanie against the side of the red Firebird, she watched as Lula continued tormenting Matt a little before blowing him a kiss and leaving. She laughed out loud as she exited the bar and came over to Connie.

"What a wuss," Lula said and unlocked her car.

Connie helped Stephanie into the back seat and seated herself next to her. It was quiet as Lula drove through the Burg. There was no talking about Batman's package on her side, no loud Hip Hop blaring out of the speakers, and no happy chatter between the three women. And as Lula saw through the rear-view mirror how Stephanie's head fell on Connie's shoulder with a painful groan it was the first time after Jackie's death that she felt such overwhelming sadness.

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"What do ya think happened?" Lula asked as she finished cleaning the bathroom and joined Connie at Stephanie's bedside.

"I don't know," Connie sighed, raking a tired hand through her hair.

"Ya think we should call Batman?"

After a moment Connie shook her head firmly. "No. Stephanie said he's on a mission."

Lula raised an eyebrow and looked pointedly at her now peacefully sleeping friend. "She's drunk. She puked for the last two hours. Ya can't honestly tell me you think she still could think straight, can you?"

Connie shrugged. "Matt reacted quite strange when Ranger's name came up. I think he's really out of reach."

Lula clicked with her tongue. "This Matt fella was a bit on the scary side. Thought he'd shoot me when I bent down to him to give him a good look at my boobs."

Connie smiled at her. "That was brilliant, you know."

"Damn right, it was," Lula beamed. "Where'd ya know him anyway?"

Connie gave her a look and Lula rolled her eyes. "All right, all right, I get it. No tattling of your mob family."

Connie rolled her eyes and stood to fetch an aspirin and a bottle of water from the kitchen and placed them on the nightstand.

"At least we know she's all right now," Connie said, changing the subject.

Lula rubbed her nose. "I don't think she's all right, girl. Something pretty bad must be going on in her life to make her look this shitty."

Both looked at Stephanie's still form and inwardly wondered what was happening to their friend. Deciding to talk to her the next morning when she would be feeling better, Connie showed Lula the second guest bedroom before going to bed herself.

0000000000

"Has she returned yet?" Bobby inquired as he flopped down on one of the stools in front of the monitors.

A few negative grunts erupted in the control room and Bobby cast a worried glance at Tank, who was pacing the floor.

"All we know is that after the fight with Tank she left the building together with Matt," Hal summarised, not taking his eyes from the screen showing the parking lot of RangeMan.

"Matt?" Bobby looked aghast. "Why would she leave with him?"

"Well," Lester began, fixating Tank with a withering glare, "it seems that our _wonderful_ second in command here thought it was a _wonderful_ idea to confront Steph so that Matt could play the knight in shining armour and save her."

"Shut up, Lester," Tank growled.

"I won't shut the fuck up!" Lester shouted, jumping to his feet. "What the hell did you think you were doing? Especially when we in the control room were narrowed to two people who weren't fast enough to stop them from leaving! You knew exactly that there was an operation at Stark Street and that we didn't have the time to watch what you were doing in her cubicle!"

Tank glowered at him. "Your temper is as bad as Jeanne's."

"He's right, Tank, and you know it," Hal interjected calmly, thus siding with a smug looking Lester. "You had no right to corner her like that."

"Yeah," Lester said, "wait till Ranger hears of it."

Bobby looked at his friend with pity in his eyes. "That's going to be ugly."

Tank snorted. "Ranger has no right to go ballistic. He hasn't exactly been an angel either."

Bobby laughed without humour. "That's true."

"Not the point here," Lester said.

"Stop it, Lester," Hal tried to calm him. "He's going to get an earful from Ranger. It is unnecessary for us to pick on him, too."

"Oh yes?" Lester spat. „You honestly want me to act like it doesn't bother me that his stupid actions caused Steph to leave the building alone with a sick mob heir?"

Hal flinched. "Well, when you say it like that…" he mumbled.

"Go ahead, Lester," Tank sighed. "Say what you have to say."

Lester smirked cruelly. "That's good. Because I have a lot to say to you right now!"

Tank barely refrained from rolling his eyes. "Come on then, let's get it over with."

But before Lester could utter a single syllable, a gasp from Bobby stopped the oncoming fight in its beginning. "There's Matt!"

At once, all attention returned to the screens as they watched a single figure enter the RangeMan building.

"What the…" started Lester. "Where's Steph?"

"It seems she's not with him," Bobby stated the obvious.

"Matt doesn't look happy," Hal observed, zooming the camera in on his target's face.

"Good, because he won't have anything to laugh as soon as I'm finished with him," Lester threatened and stalked out of the room, Tank at his side.

Staying back, Bobby and Hald watched through the monitors as Lester and Tank approached Matt.

"Do you think they're going to start a fight?" Hal asked, looking a little bit concerned.

"I don't know," Bobby shrugged. "Though Lester seems to feel quite violent at the moment."

"Yes, he's pretty frustrated I guess."

"Who isn't? It's the reason Tank cornered the Bombshell in the first place."

"Yes," Hal agreed thoughtfully. "And look where it got us… Makes me wonder what Ranger will have to say to all of this."

Bobby didn't reply. The thought was a little too scary for his liking.


	12. Showdown

Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own anything. Everything belongs to Janet Evanovich.

Author's Note: Thanks so much to Courtnay! You are awesome.

* * *

**Chapter 10**

**Showdown **

The control room was filled with an air of uneasy anticipation of the storm that everybody was certain had to come.

Even Lester looked more than a little uncomfortable as his boss let his steely gaze wander to each person in the room. It was not in Ranger's nature to lose his temper, but it seemed this time he was frighteningly close to doing just that.

Ranger remained remarkably calm on the outside, but inwardly he was overwhelmed by the string of emotions that washed over him while he tried to process what he had just been told – and his men had been working long enough for him to sense his inner turmoil and the imminent danger for them.

"Not back yet?" Ranger quietly repeated with a hint of barely suppressed worry and anger in his voice.

"No," Tank bravely confirmed, crossing his arms _almost_ defensively over his chest. "She has not returned yet."

Ranger 's lips pressed tightly together. "Where is she?" It sounded more like a vicious bark than a question and Tank gulped visibly.

"At Connie's," he said. „She left the building with Matt around 7 p.m. and while she returned about four hours later, she chose to go home with Connie and Lula."

Jeanne Ellen let her perfect mask of indifference fall from her face for a moment and grimaced. The heated discussion between her brother-in-law and herself the night before was still vividly in her mind. It had cost her an enormous amount of self-confidence and self-discipline to make Ranger understand her point concerning Stephanie Plum. And now that he was somewhat willing to confront Stephanie directly and talk openly with her about their relationship and the cop, he had to realise that one of his employees already did that and made Stephanie run in the process with one of the most untrustworthy persons he knew.

Jeanne Ellen could only imagine what was going through Ranger's head, but as she knew through her training with him at the beginning of her career, he could be a few times worse than her husband who _was_ a true choleric person unlike his brother Ricardo Manoso.

Ranger's eyes narrowed sharply. "Matt? Why would she leave with him? And where exactly did they go?"

The uncommon behaviour of his second in command, his obvious reluctance to talk about Stephanie, terrified Ranger and at the same time fuelled his anger. Suddenly his eyes widened a fraction in mute terror.

"Did something happen to her? Is she all right? Why the hell didn't you contact me immediately?"

His men flinched guiltily and felt a sense of self-loathing eating away at their minds.

They had failed. On the whole line.

And there was no use denying it.

They had failed the company by not being perceptive enough; they had failed Ranger by taking his trust and then being incapable of protecting the one person he valued the most; but most of all they failed Stephanie when they made her believe that she wasn't exactly the person they had all come to love and care for.

"Matt said they went to a bar near Stark Street. After Connie and Lula left the bar, Matt obviously followed them to Connie's apartment before returning to RangeMen," Bobby supplied, but hurriedly added when seeing Ranger's murderous glare, "Connie said she was fine."

"Connie?" Ranger asked. „You mean to tell me that you didn't even check on her for yourselves?"

"We drove to Connie's apartment," Lester spoke up, looking Ranger squarely in the eyes. "We asked Connie to lead us to Stephanie but she wouldn't let us. Said she wasn't ready to face us yet."

Ranger didn't really know what he had expected before coming back from his contract, but it had certainly not been that.

The mission itself – though lasting only five days – had been rather unnerving. Salvatore Weston was a very powerful man with powerful enemies. One of Sal's contact persons had informed him of a conspiracy planning to overthrow him. The traitors were close partners with Sal and had most of the details already thought through. A few names had been dropped, causing Sal to react instantly to that cowardice. Asking Ranger for assistance had been a good decision in his opinion in order to verify the given accusations and eliminate the threat.

Ranger had readily accepted the favour which was asked of him and had taken Jeanne Ellen along, seeing as Sal demanded he would go on this operation with only one partner and that being a female, so as to not raise any suspicions.

The operation went smoothly. Though everybody knew Ranger and Jeanne Ellen, they all believed their claims of needing their knowledge for certain cases. Working closely together with the main suspects of committing treachery, Ranger and Jeanne Ellen were able to quickly draw a picture of the persons and collect evidence.

However, on their fifth day Sal's source admitted that said suspects were only the bearer of the conspiracy, there to fulfil the evil will of another, less subtle manipulator. Someone from his very own family.

Sal had been rightfully furious and cancelled Ranger and Jeanne Ellen's mission – because now the treachery ran even deeper and Sal wanted to deal with it himself seeing as the only one being capable of doing something like that was his only son Matthew.

Ranger had felt something akin to relief as he realised that now Matt would have to leave his company again and would receive the appropriate punishment for going against his own father behind his back. His reasons for doing so were of no interest to Ranger; it wasn't his business. He only felt even more contempt for Matt than before due to his power-hungry mind and the cowardice that stood behind his actions.

He had also felt his worry cease when he realised that Matt would no longer have the opportunity to get close enough to Stephanie in any way, thus would never ever have the chance to hurt her.

But obviously he had been wrong concerning the last point of his thoughts.

"What the hell happened?" Ranger finally exploded. Noticing the tired resignation on his employees' faces, he knew that to his long night there would be also a very long day to follow.

0000000000

„You know, it's a shame that today's Saturday," Lula mused, "I would've liked to see the horse's reaction when he realised nobody's there to do the work for him in the office."

Connie grinned also as she took a small sip from her coffee. "It's not the same anymore since you left," she said, addressing a rather unsettled looking Stephanie Plum.

To end the uncomfortable silence that threatened to overcome them, Lula kept the topic focused on Vinnie.

"The pervert won't be happy when we tell him on Monday that we didn't catch good ol' Harper." Lula snorted derisively. "Vinnie said he'd be easy to find even for some fucking morons like us."

Connie's eyes glowed fiercely but then she shrugged carelessly. "Well, we _did_ find him, we just _forgot_ to catch him and bring him to the police station."

Stephanie listened quietly, glad that she hadn't been involved in the conversation. The night before just wouldn't leave her mind and she had a hard time sorting through the different flashes of images before her inner eye the last twenty-four hours and the emotions which resurfaced with those images. She had been fairly surprised to find herself in Connie's guest bedroom this morning and was even more bewildered when not only Connie, but also Lula greeted her after waking up.

Both of them treated her like a China Doll; always being intent on not hurting her.

Stephanie felt weird because of their treatment. At the moment she couldn't really retell what happened the night before, though she knew she unexpectedly met the two in a pub.

But she had the feeling that Connie and Lula's small talk would eventually lead to the topic of their real interest.

It was not until she noticed the sudden silence surrounding the living room that it occurred to her that this point might be coming sooner than expected.

"So," Connie said, her eyes fixating the cup of coffee in her hands. "That's it. Do you want to start or shall we?"

It was unnecessary for Stephanie to ask what she meant with that; all three of them understood without many words that now the time had come where they would have the talk about the past couple of months.

"Could you maybe start?" Stephanie hesitantly asked after a moment of tense silence.

Lula and Connie nodded in agreement and settled their cups down on the table.

"Well," Connie began, a somewhat faraway look on her face. "I guess I'll start at the beginning, huh? The day when you and Morelli fought."

Stephanie's body went rigid as suppressed memories resurfaced.

"Nobody knows what happened that day. Several of Morelli's neighbours saw you running out of his house that evening, an apron hanging around your waist and tears streaming down your face." Connie narrowed her eyes in thought. "It was a real shock, because Stephanie Plum wasn't known for being emotional or easily distraught." She snorted sarcastically. "Or for wearing an apron."

Her eyes traced Stephanie's appearance and she almost winced at the broken look in her friend's gaze. At first she hadn't believed the rumours of a crying Stephanie Plum storming out of Morelli's house, but one look at her now and she knew it was true. And she knew that whatever the reason was – it was still there, eating away at her.

"Of course it only took a few hours for the whole town to know about that incident. And then you just disappeared," she whispered.

"The cops went wild," Lula piped in, a devilish smile on her face. "Gave Shitcop hell for whatever it is he did to you. Everybody kept asking him what happened that day, but he never answered." Lula cursed under her breath. "It was like in a war zone as people took either your side or his side."

"It was Ranger who calmed the town down a day later. He spoke to your family and told them you were staying with him for an unknown time frame. He made it perfectly clear to everybody that you were under his protection and that nobody else apart from the Merry Men and himself would be in contact with you." Connie smiled at Stephanie. "It was kind of sweet in a very macho-like way." Then she frowned. "However, as time passed and he still wouldn't let anyone see you, it got unnerving. Especially for your family. They miss you, you know."

Stephanie tried not to acknowledge the wistful feeling inside of her heart at hearing the last sentence.

"The people got used to the fact that you were with Ranger and the only constant reminder of that was your Grandma Mazur's regular fights with Shitcop's grandma," Lula added. "And your Mom publicly slapping Shitcop."

Stephanie's eyes nearly bulged out of her face. "What!"

Lula grinned. "Yup, you heard me. She drove to the police station just as Shitcop was leaving the building and caught him in front of his car. Without asking any questions she slapped him hard across the face and screamed at him. Girl, I never knew your Mom could curse like that."

Stephanie pressed her lips tightly together and averted her face. "I don't believe that."

Connie's brow furrowed. "Why wouldn't you? With a grandma like yours it's only natural that your mother learned how to handle people that are threats to the family in her opinion."

Both Lula and Connie grinned at that.

Stephanie shook her head. "You wouldn't understand," she faintly murmured.

Connie leaned forward and grasped one of Stephanie's hands, squeezing it encouragingly between her own ones.

"Then tell us."

Stephanie took a shuddering breath. "My mother doesn't see who I am. Or doesn't want to see. I-I can't really describe it, but I can't be myself around her." Her blue eyes filled with hot tears as she slowly opened her heart for her friends and let them see all of the remorse, the pain and heartache deeply hidden in there. "I mean, she's just like Joe: She doesn't like my job; she doesn't like Ranger, and whatever I do is not good enough for her. She has all these expectations for me and I can't live up to them no matter what I do. I just can't."

Lula sat down next to her, awkwardly stroking her cheeks and brushing away the tracks of tears.

"She wants me to marry Joe, but that's not what I want. I'm not who he truly wants either. I know that, it's something I realised that night after my fight with Joe..."

A heartfelt sigh escaped her throat. Morelli had been an important part of her life over the years. Taking her virginity, playing with her feelings, seducing her, rejecting her and in the end even changing her, he had a major influence on her.

First she did not recognise it. He was a hot cop, a guy you only are able to get in your dreams. She was blinded by the glorious feeling of being loved by someone like him. It took her years to finally realise that he did not love her, but the imagery he tried to create of her.

She hiccuped, her defeated body slumping forward over her knees as fresh tears leaked out of the corner of her eyes.

It was a terrible sight and neither Lula nor Connie could have been prepared for that. The realisation hit them that Stephanie's problems not only ran deeper than any of them could have imagined, but also had been brooding under the surface for some time.

For how long had Stephanie been struggling with her feelings? How often had she felt lonely and lost, without anybody to ease her pain? Why did nobody notice!

But before Connie and Lula could wallow in the building remorse and guilt, there was a forceful knock on the door.

Frowning lightly, for she didn't expect anyone and didn't like that somebody was interrupting the moment her friend was finally opening up, Connie chose to ignore it.

When the sound didn't cease and Stephanie curled up into a ball on the sofa, Connie grudgingly stalked to the door and wrenched it open – only to come face to face with an enraged Matt Weston flanked by a not so impassive looking Ranger and a rather evil looking Jeanne Ellen.

Instinctively, Connie shot a dark look at her which she only answered with a raised eyebrow – much like Ranger. That only served to anger her more. Were the rumour mill and Stephanie right? Did the two truly have something going on?

"Connie," Ranger acknowledged. "I heard Stephanie is here. Can I speak to her?"

Connie narrowed her eyes. "No, you can't."

Ranger levelled his eyes to hers, a silent demand in his eyes to obey him.

Connie swallowed but didn't budge. "Look, she's feeling rather… unwell at the moment. I think it'd be better for everyone involved if we could do this when she's better."

Ranger's eyes raised to a point behind her. "This doesn't concern you," he said as something in his dark eyes softened. Trying to block his view of Stephanie would be fruitless, so she tried to shut the door closed instead, only to be stopped by a boot.

Several tense seconds passed as a brave Connie proved her loyalty to Stephanie by taking on a silent stare match against a very angered mercenary.

"Connie, it's okay. Let them in," Stephanie's quiet voice interrupted. The mood changed visibly as most of the present parties focused their attention on her in concern.

Matt, however, looked uninterested and repulsed.

Sighing, Connie took a step back and let her visitors pass. Apart from Ranger, Matt and Jeanne Ellen, they were also two other black clothed guys entering who she identified as the ones being there earlier asking to see Stephanie. She vaguely remembered that their names were Bobby and Tank, but she didn't dwell on it for long.

Connie's living room was rather crowded as now eight people were filling it.

Connie occupied Stephanie's right side and Lula her left. They formed a physical and an emotional shield for their friend as they rightfully expected the oncoming conversation to be quite an unpleasant one.

Bobby and Tank stood stoically behind Matt, watching the mob heir's every move like hawks.

Jeanne Ellen chose to stay close to her brother-in-law. The situation was more than uncomfortable to her and she sensed that Ranger would need some support and guidance through all of this. But most of all she really only wanted to make sure that he didn't blow it like all the times prior.

Ranger knew nothing of Jeanne Ellen's lack of trust in him, not that it was of any concern to him. All of his thoughts belonged to the forlorn figure sitting on the couch and hugging her knees to her chest as if to physically protect herself from his presence. The burning anger he had felt for the last couple of hours dissipated abruptly at the sight, leaving a foul tasting feeling of helplessness and longing. How could it go so far that now she even felt the need to shield herself away from him? How could he let this happen?

There was truly only one person in the room that was without a care. There were no more pretences on his side as his eyes slowly scanned her entire form. Ranger's men had interrogated him rather painfully as soon as he had set a foot in the building after his disturbed attempt to get Stephanie drunk and seduce her. And then the call. Matt's eyes turned cold. His little attempted coup had been discovered and daddy dearest wasn't happy at all. But if he was going to hell, he would take as many with him as possible.

And seeing as how many people's happiness seemed to depend on Stephanie Plum, she was the perfect victim for his last evil scheme.


	13. True Colours

Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own anything. Everything belongs to Janet Evanovich.

Author's Note: Special thanks to Courtnay! I'm so grateful for your help. Thank you so much.

* * *

**Chapter 11**

**True Colours**

It was awkward, to say the least. Not a single one of Connie's seven visitors felt truly comfortable in her living room at the moment, especially since nobody knew what to expect from the other.

Ranger's gaze rested on Stephanie, silently scrutinising every detail apparent to his observant eyes. A mix of emotion settled in his stomach, trying to overpower the rational part of his mind at the sight of her. Feeling torn between grabbing her shoulders and shaking her until she saw what her broken spirit did to him and interrogating her why she went anywhere alone with Matt, he forced himself to hold still for the moment.

Jeanne Ellen stood to his right, her slender arms tightly crossed over her chest and her contemplative stare fixed on Stephanie as well. She had already adopted a position.

Connie felt a little defensive because of the fact that Ranger, Bobby, Tank, Jeanne Ellen and a handcuffed Matt invaded her home without premonition. Her main worry, though, was still Stephanie.

Bobby and Tank appeared indifferent while inwardly they were immensely relieved to see that Stephanie was apparently well. Apart from Ranger's certain wrath, they wouldn't have coped well if something had happened to **their** Bomber.

Matt didn't only appear indifferent, he truly _was_ indifferent to it all.

Lula, however, was simply annoyed.

"What's this all about?" she demanded to know, successfully becoming the centre of the general attention. It angered her that Ranger and his companions came just in that moment when Stephanie began to talk her feelings and problems out. She was by no means a psychologist, but she knew one needed to talk about one's problems and feelings once in a while and vent one's frustrations and anger. Her friend had done neither so far, and instead had become more introverted. If Ranger had only come by half an hour later, it would have been enough time for Stephanie to tell them her side of the story and to let all her pent-up emotions show. Lula was worried that whatever this encounter would bring, when it was over it would be harder to get Stephanie to this point of opening up again.

"I want to know what happened yesterday, before Matt is going to leave," Ranger said, his blank gaze briefly cooling as it snapped to Matt, "Stephanie, could I talk to you?"

Connie gritted her teeth at this, wondering how Ranger could think that she would let him order them around in **her** home.

"No, you don't! Whatever business you've got with her, you won't do this today," she firmly disagreed.

"This doesn't concern you, Connie," Ranger calmly countered. "Today's as good as any other day to have a talk with her."

"I won't let you pressure her into talking!" Connie hissed as her temper began to flare.

A little bit taken aback by her hostility, Ranger narrowed his eyes into dangerous slits.

Jeanne Ellen shifted and stepped closer to Ranger's stiff form before scathingly replying, "It has to be done, obviously, to end this once and for all, so certain people may be able to move on." Her gaze moving sideways to Ranger, everybody in the room got the hint who she was talking about.

Stephanie noticeably winced at that and it only fuelled Connie's anger.

Ranger also furrowed his brows in obvious displeasure. "Jeanne Ellen," he warned, "I want you to stay out of this as well." He didn't understand Jeanne Ellen's aggressiveness, it wasn't like her to stoop so low in order to hurt other people verbally. Plus, they certainly didn't come here to exchange insults.

Jeanne Ellen grimaced but obediently stayed quiet.

Connie smirked at her in satisfaction before turning back to Ranger. "I don't think it's a good idea to do this now. Especially when _he_'s here," Connie spat, nodding in Matt's direction.

Ranger raised an eyebrow. "You know him?"

"Oh yeah," Connie said. "Unfortunately, I do."

Ranger nodded almost imperceptibly as if understanding what she meant by that.

"But how do you know him and why the hell did you let him take Stephanie out to get her drunk?" Connie went on.

Matt remained silent due to Tank painfully twisting his hands behind his back in an unspoken threat, and settled on simply glaring at Connie.

The latter knew she had overstepped the boundaries by verbally attacking Ranger but she didn't care. All that she cared about was her friend and the need to protect her – even if that meant standing up to Ranger.

"What do you mean?" Ranger asked, not as threateningly as Connie had expected.

"You still have to ask? Lula and I found them yesterday in a bar. She was completely wasted because he bought her drink after drink. Considering the way he kept leering at her, I don't think it was out of pure charity," Connie sarcastically said. "And then Stephanie said something interesting about you, Ranger, being away on a mysterious operation with Jeanne Ellen." Connie didn't exactly word it, but the tone of her voice practically oozed with the accusation she laid on Ranger.

Bobby and Tank unknowingly gripped tighter on an evil smirking Matt than necessary, and Lula soothingly rubbed Stephanie's back while trying to bore holes into Ranger's head with her venomous glares. Jeanne Ellen sneered at Connie.

The situation seemed to get out of hand quickly due to the blatant aggressiveness both parties showed. Stephanie got the impression that they actually wanted to fight with each other. Matt, who had come to the same conclusion, was the only one who actually took delight in that fact.

Everybody expected all hell to break loose soon, but that was the last thing Stephanie wanted to happen.

"Stop it," she cried, her troubled eyes flying from one person in the room to the next. "Just stop."

All eyes automatically went to her crouching form, which was faintly trembling from months of pent-up emotions she could no longer contain.

It was time to face the past and its resulting consequences, that she knew. But she wanted to do it in small steps, and for confronting Ranger she still didn't feel strong enough. Letting Connie get into a screaming match with Ranger, would ultimately lead straight into the topic she had so adamantly avoided since stumbling out of Joe's house that particular night, which would leave her without control of the situation. And she needed control to be able to get through all of this.

Therefore she chose to settle things with the one person who only got recently involved with this drama first before with everyone else. Maybe talking to a person she felt comfortable with would give her the strength to confront Ranger afterwards.

"I want to speak with Matt," Stephanie said, surprising everyone that was present. "Alone."

After the surprise, instantly came the protest. But to no avail. Stephanie had made a decision and refused to let the others try and talk her out of it.

Ranger frowned darkly. "I don't see how this should help in any way," he replied tartly, hating the idea of giving Matt more alone time with his Babe after hearing about the happenings of the day before.

"I… need to speak with him," she urgently pleaded. "Please."

Ranger was about to deny her her request but was stopped by Jeanne Ellen who appeared to be much calmer and more rational. His gaze nonetheless fixated on his Babe, he didn't miss her flinching when Jeanne Ellen's hand touched his arm in a soothing motion. Sudden guilt washed over him as he realised that Jeanne Ellen may have been right about his underestimation of his Babe's thought's on his and Jeanne Ellen's relationship.

"She needs this," Jeanne Ellen murmured to him. "What harm can this do? It must be hard for her to face her feelings and fears in front of all of us. And if it takes a couple minutes with Matt for her to start talking then you should give her that."

Despite being relieved that the old and much more considerate Jeanne Ellen was back, Ranger felt the ire rise inside of him at hearing her advice. In the end it was Stephanie's pleading eyes that were responsible for him giving his consent.

"Five minutes," he nearly growled. "We'll be in the next room."

Shooting Matt a glare in warning to better not try and do something stupid, he exited the room with long, determined strides.

Bobby and Tank reluctantly released Matt and made sure that the handcuffs were firmly in place before following Ranger out of the room.

Connie and Lula weren't entirely sure what this was all about and it felt incredibly wrong to them to leave their friend alone in a room with this cunning mob heir – especially after what Matt tried to do the night before. Looking into her eyes to see for themselves that their friend was in the condition to be alone with Matthew Salvatore for a few minutes, they assured Stephanie that they would come to her aid at once should anything happen.

The moment Stephanie and Matt were left alone in the room, some of the tension seemed to leave the ex-bounty hunter's body. She didn't look quite so cornered anymore as she observed Matt's facial expression carefully.

"Hey," she awkwardly began.

He nodded a greeting and managed to put a small, charming smile on his face despite his initial confusion. Why was she still like that to him? Hadn't she heard what Connie had said about him? Hadn't she seen the animosity everybody regarded him with? Or the handcuffs?

"You feeling better than yesterday?" he neutrally asked, patiently waiting for her reaction that would reflect her thoughts on him. He took the time to study her a bit more closely. She seemed to have changed overnight – and for the worse. Her behaviour towards Ranger only emphasised his observations. And, of course, the fact that she either hadn't heard Connie revealing his true intentions or simply chose to ignore it. Stretching his arms further behind his back, he made sure that the handcuffs were kept from her view.

"I guess," she said a little absent-mindedly, obviously remembering the events of the day prior and comparing them to Connie's description of the situation.

"Good," he smoothly said, successfully drawing her attention back to him.

She then smiled at him; the first real smile he had seen on her face since they had barged into this apartment half an hour ago. He briefly wondered when the last time was that she had smiled this earnestly at Ranger. It was difficult for him to suppress an evil smirk at this point.

"Yeah," she said, twiddling her fingers nervously. "You know… I wanted to thank you."

Saying that Matt was astonished was a great understatement. He actually couldn't remember a single occasion where a person had thanked him this wholeheartedly. Gratitude practically shone at him from her blue eyes and he lowered his own brown ones to escape those trusting orbs.

"For what?" he almost uncomfortably asked, momentarily forgetting about his plan of increasing the drift between Ranger and Stephanie.

"For seeing me, the _real_ me. For liking _me_."

At hearing these words, he made the mistake to look up again and to lock his gaze with hers. In this very moment she was the epitome of a child gazing up at a parental – her unconditional trust in him; the unveiled sincerity in her belief in him and his kindness; and the question in her troubled eyes that was screaming at him why everybody else refused to accept her the way she was.

Something tightened in his chest and it made him angry that she was able to reanimate long buried feelings inside of him that he never wanted to feel again. Clenching his jaw, he forcefully pushed away the pity and sympathy that threatened to cloud his mind, and said, "I don't know what you're talking about. Ranger did a good job at bringing his brainless employees up against me. The way I see it, you're the only source of amusement left for me in this hellhole."

It must have been irony that Matt in his defensive had found exactly the right words that would hurt her the most.

Stephanie recoiled as if physically hit and stared up at his suddenly repulsed face in bewilderment.

"What?" she whispered, still reeling from his harsh designation of her as a "source of amusement" which painfully reminded her of Ranger. Why did all the men in her life have to first make her feel wanted and loved only to turn their back on her in the end?

Bitter tears gathered in her eyes. It wasn't fair. All the hurt and emotional torment... She was no toy – for nobody.

"You heard me," he mercilessly dug deeper into her reopened wounds. "Or are you too dumb to understand what I said?" He snorted in disgust. "Even your friend realised my intentions after only five minutes of knowing me. No wonder Ranger took you as his new pet, you're just too naïve."

She gasped audibly, instinctively placing a hand to her heart as if to shield herself physically from the impact of his words. The words hung in the air between them, as for the first time the two faced each other with utter resentment.

„Bastard," she quietly stated, not trying to hide the hot tears that were running freely down her pale cheeks.

Matt, though, felt relaxed. He was finally back on familiar ground. He knew how to handle hate and anger. He had evoked these emotions in enough people to be able to handle them.

Thus completely unimpressed, he changed his whole stance to a more comfortable one that served to underline his display of nonchalance.

"What?" he mocked. "You didn't honestly think that you're of any value to Ranger, did you?" He smirked cruelly when she intertwined her fingers so hard that her knuckles started to turn white. "You're pathetic," he continued, "that's what everybody thinks but nobody says out loud. Face it, _honey_, actions speak louder than words."

It was in that moment, as the breakdown crashed down on her in all its intensity, that the others decided that the two had been alone long enough. But maybe it was for the better as well, because it seemed like her emotional breakdown eventually gave her the strength to break out of her self-created shell just this once.

"What's going on?" Lula yelled as soon as she saw Stephanie. She immediately rushed over to her friend who looked eerily calm in spite of the flow of tears still pouring down both sides of her face.

Matt remained silent. Connie halted in front of him and slapped him hard across the face. "You made her cry! What the hell did you do?" Without waiting for an answer, she rounded on Ranger. "Why did you bring him here? Why are you here at all?! To upset her some more? Do you enjoy seeing her like this?"

"Enough," Ranger softly ordered, barely restraining himself. It took everything out of him not to react violently towards Matt as well when he saw the state Stephanie was now in.

"You're right, that is enough!" Connie shouted. "Stop with your stupid one-word threats and explain yourself already! I'm sick of your attitude! I'm sick of the way you're treating Stephanie! So would you please be so kind as to either say something of interest or leave this apartment?"

"How dare you!" Jeanne Ellen bellowed. „Don't you think you've insulted him enough for one day? He's not the one responsible for Ms Plum's state so it's inappropriate for you to accuse him of intentionally harming her."

Connie snorted. "This doesn't concern you in any way, so why don't you just shut your stupid mouth and get your ass out of my apartment before I have to do it for you?"

Jeanne Ellen's eyes narrowed into slits. "I won't leave without Ranger." She knew she had made a mistake as soon as the words left her mouth. Quickly opening her mouth again to reword her answer, she watched out of the corner of her eye as Stephanie smiled grimly. Cursing herself for nurturing Stephanie's suspicions about an affair between herself and Ranger, she knew that she had probably made things worse.

"Is it true?" Stephanie suddenly asked.

"Is what true?" Lula gently inquired.

Stephanie lifted her head to look Ranger straight in the eyes. "I was nothing more, wasn't I? I should have known." She chuckled bitterly.

Puzzled over her cryptic words, Ranger said, "What are you talking about?"

"I always thought it was some kind of a positive sign that you liked me every time you found me and my escapades funny. I'm sorry I couldn't provide any fun for you recently. But you can stop going out of your way to avoid me. I won't live at RangeMan any longer."

Ranger tensed. Her behaviour unsettled him greatly. "You're not thinking straight, Stephanie, maybe you should rest a little and we will discuss this later." He motioned for Bobby and Tank to head out the door with Matt, but Stephanie's next words halted all movement.

"That won't be necessary. I feel well enough to get this over and done with so that everybody finally can move on," she spat, ignoring the disbelief in Ranger's eyes. "You came to get some answers, didn't you? You will get them."

"Steph-" Lula uncertainly began, but Stephanie only held up a hand and shook her head, so Lula quietened.

"Joe and I had a strange relationship. There were good times where we could peacefully live together. But most of the time we just fought. We argued about a lot of things, mainly about my job and you," Stephanie said, gazing up at Ranger with a faraway look in her eyes.

"Though we argued a lot about the same things, we never really got around to making compromises. We both stood our ground, not moving an inch towards the other. Somehow the problems just grew and we found more and more reasons to fight, but I guess I never truly saw the whole picture behind it – or maybe I chose to ignore it." Bitterness crept into her voice at this. Lula and Connie watched her helplessly, in a way they even felt guilty for not seeing how badly Stephanie had been really doing in her relationship with Joe Morelli. After all, they were friends.

"Well, when our fights started to take place in public my family decided to meddle: from vicious threats to sweet cajoling, it was especially my mother who tried to push me into submitting to Joe and to start being a good, little housewife. At one point where I didn't know what to do anymore, I actually followed her advice and borrowed an apron from Mary Lou and created a nice dinner with her help at Joe's house."

Ranger uncompromisingly quenched the faint twinge of fury he felt, knowing that his Babe at one time tried to be someone she wasn't only to please her family and the cop. She was perfect the way she was. She should have never had reason to doubt that.

Stephanie laughed humourlessly. "Instead of being pleasantly surprised as he came back from work, he was self-righteous, basically saying that I had finally come to my senses and behaved like a proper woman. I was hurt and picked up a fight with him that soon developed into a screaming match. I knew he'd had a hard and tiring day, but I was just so uncomfortable and self-conscious in the role of a housewife that his arrogant remarks really set me off." Bobby and Tank silently dragged Matt out of the apartment, thinking that they best gave them some privacy. Now they could only hope that Ranger would be able to mend the situation with Stephanie. To get her warmth and friendship back. And her trust.

"Soon he began to criticise RangeMan and my job as a bounty hunter again, and then it just clicked. Everything fell into place and it confused and upset me at the same time. I told him it was over and left the house to drive to my parents'. My mother was no help, practically telling me what a failure I was to repeatedly disappoint Joe, and asked me why I couldn't get over my stubbornness and finally give in to Joe's wishes." Crystal tears glistened in Stephanie's eyes. "Not even my very own mother could see what a self-destructive couple Joe and I were."

Stephanie squeezed her eyes shut for a moment to regain her composure. Taking a deep breath, she opened them again and continued. "It's not a healthy relationship if one partner has to give up themselves for the other, right? I could have never been happy with him. So I ran away from my family as well and straight to the only person I thought I could rely on." Her voice wavered as she averted her gaze from Ranger. "I really thought you'd be there for me, but I was wrong. You distanced yourself from me, only speaking to me when absolutely necessary. Since I could no longer amuse you, I was only a burden to you. I'm sorry that I only understood just now that Matt pointed it out to me, but I can assure you that I won't bother you any longer." Her heartbroken gaze brushed Jeanne Ellen's.

Ranger's jaw was clenched as he contemplated which of her thoughts he should rectify first. "I don't know where you came up with all of this, but I came here to see for myself that you're well after last night's events and to ask you if Matt did anything to you."

Stephanie nodded numbly. "As you can see I'm fine. Now please leave."

Stunned by Stephanie's attitude, Connie and Lula observed their friend warily as if expecting her to burst into tears again at any minute.

"No, I'm not going to leave," Ranger angrily said. "You will explain what you mean by your little speech."

"I think I've made myself perfectly clear. What else do you want from me?"

"I want you to tell me what the hell you were talking about just now! I was not distancing myself from you! I tried to be there for you, but it was you who didn't want my help! It was you who pushed me away, forcing me to watch over you from afar!"

"You mean your occasional visits in my cubicle? Or your more frequent visits at night?" She snorted derisively. "I see how much I mean to you. Honestly."

"Why are you so bitchy?" Jeanne Ellen yelled in frustration. "Don't you see he's trying here?"

Stephanie sighed. "I've had enough, okay? I'm sick of being stomped all over. I'm sick of hurting. What Ranger did wasn't enough. What everybody did wasn't enough. And I'm sick of all of you."

Ranger didn't say anything, but the brief flash of pain in his eyes was proof enough of how much her words hurt him.

Jeanne Ellen bristled. "Stop pitying yourself! You're not the only one who was hurting these last couple of months! What about your family almost daily camping outside of RangeMan to get a hold of you? Joe Morelli practically drowning in self-hatred and agony? Thanks to your abrupt departure he never got to know why, exactly, you broke up with him! He assumed he wasn't good enough for you and accused Ranger of making you leave him! Your family, your friends – they're all suffering because of you! Don't you care about them at all? Maybe they weren't fair all the time but they meant well! They don't deserve this from you! Least of all Ranger!"

Connie and Lula glared at her mutely.

"And to make this clear once and for all: Ranger and I are not an item! I'm married to his brother!"

This, at least, stunned Connie, Lula and Stephanie into an abrupt silence.

Jeanne Ellen, having now said everything that was on her mind, turned to Ranger with obvious concern.

Meanwhile Stephanie's mind swirled with different impressions and words. Images flashed before her eyes, and hints of emotions she had ignored for so long were cruelly shoved into her conscious.

Her heartbeat sped up as previous thoughts and the things she had realised through this forced encounter at Connie's contradicted themselves.

She felt like she had been asleep for the past months and was just now waking up to reality. Everything crashed down on her with such force, she found it hard to breathe. Panicking, she knew it was all too much.

"Stephanie?" Connie tentatively asked. "Are you all right?"

"No," Stephanie choked out.

"Oh, Hon…" Connie sighed, placing her hand on Stephanie's shoulder to soothe her.

"I want to go home…" she whispered.

Before Connie could answer, Ranger cut in, "I'll take you back to your apartment."

But Stephanie only shook her head. "No. I want to go to…my parents'."

Perplexed, Connie suppressed the jolt of happiness inside of her. "Of course, I'll drive you."

Avoiding Ranger's penetrating eyes, Connie lead Stephanie outside to her car. She didn't care what the remaining occupants of her apartment did – for her the only thing that counted was that Stephanie was making immense progress by wishing to visit her parents. She hoped that her family would be able to heal the wounds in her soul and give her the chance to escape her lethargy.

Stephanie, meanwhile, watched the houses pass her window with unseeing eyes. She didn't acknowledge Connie's reassuring chatter, didn't realise as the car halted in front of her parents' house. Almost mechanically she unbuckled herself and accepted the parting hug Connie gave her before she was left alone on the pavement.

All the confusion, the hurt, the loneliness combined with her new discoveries seemed to fully take over her mind and it was hard for her to comprehend everything.

She couldn't take it anymore. It was all too much to bear on her own. She wanted to be a little girl again, running to her parents to let them solve her petty problems and with her mother enveloping her in a hug full of warmth and love. She wanted to feel the security again that had always come with that hug, and have the knowledge that there was one person who would always love and support her no matter what.

When had this natural belief in her mother left her?

She was a mess when she finally broke down on her parent's porch, a crying huddle with no idea who she was anymore.

And then the front door opened.

"Mom?" Stephanie whispered brokenly as her mother clasped her hands to her mouth in shock. "I miss you, Mom. I miss you so much…"

No other words were spoken for a long time as Ellen Plum fell to her knees herself and wrapped her arms around her shivering daughter in a hug full of warmth and love.


	14. To really see someone

Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own anything. Everything belongs to Janet Evanovich.

Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who reviewed. It really helps knowing that you guys like what I write. Thank you so much for your support.

And special thanks to akasha617 and Courtnay!

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**Chapter 12**

**To really see someone**

A week had passed and the feeling of joy was still prominent in the Plum's household. Stephanie had come back to them; the family was complete again.

Considering it is a well-known fact that news travels fast, it didn't take long until concerned neighbours and friends came over to express their relief towards the family's reunion or to bring cake to celebrate. Other town members voiced their felicitations per extensive phone calls.

All in all it was a blissful time for the Plum's, though everybody seemed intent on overlooking the fact that it was only superficial happiness. And suppressed feelings pressed back to the surface as more time went by. It didn't help either that there was a constant reminder on the mistakes of their past that nobody could ignore.

Black cars, all expensive and shiny looking, would periodically stroll past the Plum's house or park in front of it for a few hours. Not even the most curious and perceptive women in the neighbourhood saw somebody get out.

Tension grew and began to overshadow the happiness.

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"What do you plan on doing now?" Valerie conversationally asked after the whole family had settled down for dinner one evening.

"I don't know," Stephanie said and shrugged. The topic was a little uncomfortable for her since she didn't want to think about her future. It meant moving on from the past and her wounds still felt too raw and fresh to just forget them.

"I heard that Vinnie found some lousy replacement for you at the Bond's office," Valerie helpfully supplied. "They say she's even worse than Joyce Barnhardt and that definitely has to mean something considering the fact that she obviously still has trouble grasping the concept of being a bounty hunter." Valerie playfully rolled her eyes and Stephanie felt a gleeful smile tug at her lips at the underlying praise for her abilities as a bounty hunter and the side blow against her arch-nemesis.

However, the smile died before it had the chance to fully expand as Stephanie saw her mother frown at the direction their conversation was taking. Since her return, the family had carefully avoided delving too deep into certain topics.

Her job as a bounty hunter being one of them.

"That would explain why Vinnie sends Connie and Lula out to hunt down FTA's," Stephanie muttered to her sister who was sitting opposite her.

"What was that, dear?" her mother inquired with an edge to her voice as she offered the plate with meat to Mr Plum. "Oh, before I forget. I met Mrs Bestler at the grocery store today." She pursed her lips disapprovingly. "She wanted me to tell you not to worry about the apartment. She kept the landlord from giving it to someone else and paid the rent of two months in case you want to come back."

Stephanie nearly dropped the fork in her hand as she blinked stupidly at her mother. Unexpected warmth spread throughout her.

"That was nice of her," Valerie heartily said. "So you can move back into your apartment! That's great. By the way, Rex is doing fine. I guess he does miss you though. The first couple of weeks he kept sniffing our fingers and when he realised we weren't you, he bit down pretty hard."

Stephanie smiled as she fondly thought of her hamster. After the fight with her family, she had left the house with all her belongings there, including the cage with Rex. It was a nice gesture from her sister to take care of him without being asked to.

If she thought about it, since she had come back she got along far better with her sister than ever before. Indeed, Valerie seemed eager to support her. The last week she had come visiting on a daily basis for a few hours, sometimes with Albert and the kids, sometimes without them.

Seeing the joyous gleam in her mother's eyes whenever the whole family was together, Stephanie knew that Valerie herself had neglected to visit their parents lately.

Grandma Mazur took a healthy sip of wine. „What's going on with you and that hunk Ranger?" she asked, eyeing her granddaughter wickedly. "He's been awfully protective of you. Wouldn't even let Frank and me in to see you."

Mr Plum tore his gaze away from his food in favour of looking directly at Stephanie. Stephanie wasn't sure, but it felt oddly like he wanted to mutely confirm Grandma Mazur's assumption.

Mrs Plum poured some more wine into her glass. "Which he had no right to do."

"Stop being so stuck-up, Ellen," Grandma Mazur unusually gravely reprimanded. "He's a good man. Not to mention sexy." She licked her lips. "If only I were a few years younger…"

It occurred to Stephanie that her father and grandmother could understand the reasons for Ranger's behaviour, whereas her mother couldn't. Even though the whole family had sat down together to talk about what happened to Stephanie before their fight and after it, the family issues had only been randomly brushed but had neither been discussed nor solved yet.

Mrs Plum set her knife down on the table noisily. "He brings her into dangerous situations! He's a killer without conscience. Now with Joseph Morelli we wouldn't have to worry about her all the time. He'd take care of her. He's absolutely perfect for her!"

"Bullshit," Grandma Mazur firmly said. "He isn't. She's miserable with him. You would see that if you stopped being so narrow-minded."

Mrs Plum spluttered in outrage.

"Shut up, Ellen," Mr Plum interrupted. His face was like stone as he regarded his wife.

The whole room went silent at this. It was positive, Stephanie silently decided, that Albert and the kids weren't present this evening.

Mrs Plum's mouth opened wide in disbelief. "What?" she weakly whispered. It was rare that Mr Plum participated in family discussions. The only things that really seemed to be of any interest to him were food and American cars.

"Stop treating my daughter like this," Mr Plum said. "Stop making the choices for her. And stop treating her like she's the family's failure!"

"I did not…" Mrs Plum trailed off, confusion written all over her face as she looked at Grandma Mazur for help, who unfortunately didn't seem inclined at all to provide any. On the contrary, Grandma Mazur certainly looked like she thoroughly enjoyed the lecture her daughter was getting from her son-in-law.

Realising that she wouldn't find any support in this department, Mrs Plum took a moment to regain her composure and faced her husband again.

"What is this nonsense you're talking about?" Mrs Plum barked. "Stephanie knows perfectly well that I'm right, don't you?" She turned to her daughter expectantly. Dinner was forgotten by now.

Stephanie felt panic well up inside of her. She didn't want to further defy her mother, but she didn't have the strength anymore to tolerate her ignorance either.

"I can decide on my own what I want and what I don't want," she quietly but firmly stated.

Mrs Plum smiled. "Of course you can," she conceded. "_Sometimes_. Although most of the time you need a little push in the right direction."

Stephanie didn't flinch at her mother's unintentionally condescending words, instead she felt something tighten painfully in her throat.

"Mom!" Valerie exclaimed, aghast.

"That's exactly what Frank was talking about," Grandma Mazur accusingly said. "You have learnt nothing from the last couple of months, have you?"

"I've learnt that Stephanie had a fight with Joseph, because she's too stubborn to quit her job as a bounty hunter permanently, and ever since that night she's been miserable without him!" Mrs Plum summarised.

Multiple gasps of disbelief and indignation answered her before Stephanie spoke up to correct her. "I'm only partly miserable of Joe, but not because we fought, but because I realised that we can't make each other happy. He and I aren't meant to be a couple."

„What's the other part why you're miserable?" Valerie gently encouraged her to continue.

Stephanie's glowing eyes met her mother's. "It's you."

Mrs Plum looked appalled. "What?"

Stephanie took a deep, shuddering breath.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Dad is right, Mom, you try to shape me into someone I'm not. I'm not someone to wait at home for her husband and cook for him." Stephanie's hands curled into tight fists under the table. "And I don't want to be with Joe anymore."

Mrs Plum pursed her lips. "You're blaming all of this on me?"

"Mom, no, I-"

"It was _him_, wasn't it? _He_ gave you all these stupid ideas. _Ranger_. I always knew he was no good."

"He's not… Ranger didn't-"

"I want to you to stay away from him. I-"

"Ellen," Mr Plum's voice boomed mercilessly. "Shut up and listen to Stephanie."

Mrs Plum was rendered speechless for the second time that evening. Her gaze trailed from her husband to her daughter.

Tears of frustration glistened in Stephanie's darkened blue eyes. "I'm not you, Mom. I wouldn't be happy with just being a housewife." Her words stung. Mrs Plum looked bewildered and her eyes studied her youngest daughter as if seeing her, _really_ seeing her, for the first time in years. She couldn't understand what her daughter was saying, but she finally understood that a great part of the pain Stephanie had suffered through was caused by her. Had she really been so oblivious? A tyrant towards her own family?

The sound of someone knocking on the front door startled everyone out of their stupor.

Since Mrs Plum made no move to answer the door, Grandma Mazur took it upon herself.

After a few minutes she came back, a deep frown marring her features as soon as her gaze met her granddaughter's. "Jeanne Ellen is here. She wants to talk to you, Steph."

A wave of wariness washed over Stephanie. She didn't know what Jeanne Ellen wanted from her all of a sudden, but she didn't need more cutting remarks from her.

Jeanne Ellen took one look at her and said, "I won't apologise. I'm not here to explain my behaviour or because I have something wise to say. I came to ask for a favour."

Stephanie noticeably relaxed and aloofness was replaced by curiosity.

What could Jeanne Ellen have to ask of her?

"Ranger will come to you sometime soon and I want you to listen to him. Please, just listen."

It was an odd request to Stephanie, but Jeanne Ellen was looking so earnestly at her that she simply nodded her consent. Words still failed her as she watched Jeanne Ellen drive away but the revelation remained that the most composed woman in the Burg had just admitted that she was worried about Ranger and that she at least partly held Stephanie responsible for that.

When Stephanie entered the house, still completely absorbed with the rather surreal encounter with Jeanne Ellen, her mother was waiting for her with a neutral expression on her face. Grandma Mazur, Mr Plum and Valerie were nowhere in sight.

"Is it true?" she quietly inquired. "You don't love Joe?"

Stephanie inhaled loudly. "I don't."

"Why?"

"He's important to me, yes, but I'm not happy in a relationship with him. He can't and doesn't want to accept me. He constantly wants to change me. And if I'm not good enough the way I am…" Stephanie trailed off, her voice husky with emotion.

Mrs Plum only nodded, her lips pressed together in a tight, grim line. "And I'm just like him. I understand." She turned to walk away, shoulders stiff and head held high.

"I just want to be loved unconditionally," Stephanie whispered. "Is that too much to ask for?"

Only a slight faltering in step showed that Mrs Plum had heard her daughter's words.

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True to Jeanne Ellen's words, there was a knock on the front door two days later to reveal Ranger on the other side. Stephanie silently took in his attire, faintly realising in the back of her mind how much she had missed him. He looked good for a lack of better words but there was something different on him that she couldn't decipher.

The Plums had yet to solve their issues concerning Stephanie, the last two days had been spent in tense avoidance, thus it was an awkward mood surrounding the house as the two settled in the kitchen. Grandma Mazur practically had to drag Mrs Plum away from her domain but one dark look from her husband and she swallowed her protest.

Ranger casually leaned against the counter, arms crossed in front of his chest. Somehow he didn't seem so dangerous this day. He wore the usual dark jeans and black tee-shirt, but his whole facial expression had changed. The hard lines near his mouth and eyes were relaxed, and the look he gave her wasn't demanding. There was an almost desperate determination in his eyes, a look that was beseeching her to listen to him.

She felt like Jeanne Ellen's voice was mocking her even in her own mind as she pushed the thought away that she could make Ranger vulnerable.

"What do you want?" she asked.

Ranger made a vague gesture with his hand. "Can we sit down for this?"

Hesitating, Stephanie nodded and took a seat at the table. Ranger pulled up a chair across from her so they were facing each other.

After a while the silence became back-breaking as both seemed to ponder how to continue.

"What happened to Matt?" Stephanie asked, half-curious and half-nervous.

Ranger leaned back in his chair, arms again crossed in front of him and lips pressed together in a tight line. He definitely looked annoyed, though she pinpoint exactly why.

"I'm not sure. I handed him over to Salvatore a couple days ago," he evasively said. "You liked him," he deadpanned.

"Yes," Stephanie reluctantly admitted, thinking back on the man that had been her only confidant for a short period of time. "I thought he was different…"

"In other words, he wasn't cold towards you."

Stephanie shifted in her seat awkwardly. He definitely got down to the point quickly.

"When I was with him I felt like I mattered, like he cared about me."

"_We_ _all_ care about you! He's just a whimpy brat that used you for his own sick games!"

Stephanie felt her own ire rise at his unexpected outburst. It was weird seeing Ranger openly and deliberately show emotion. She knew that if he didn't want her to know his feelings, she wouldn't.

"'We'! You always say 'we'. Who's the true whimp I ask you? You always hide behind your company and your employees. But what do _you_ really feel? _Were_ you distancing yourself from me?"

Ranger looked like he was about to explode. She knew that she'd quite certainly taken it a step too far with her accusations, but it felt distinctly good to get all of this off of her mind. The start had been made at Connie's apartment when she first began to talk. This conversation with Ranger was another important step in the right direction. And eventually, when she had let loose all of her repressed emotions, the process would be completed and she'd be able to leave this all behind and move on. Move on… Jeanne Ellen had said something similar…

A wistful ache spread through her heart, hardening her resolve not to back down from a confrontation with Ranger. Not this time.

That was why his next words threw her completely off-guard.

"You're right," he admitted.

Dumbfounded, she stared at him.

"You are," he emphasised. "It's not true that you and your problems didn't matter to me, though you may have thought otherwise."

"So, you were not distancing yourself from me?" The answer to this question suddenly seemed to matter more than anything else.

Ranger probably noticed that as well because it took him a moment to respond. "Yes, I was."

The words stung like a slap. There had been so much hope on her part that he did care… that he didn't go out of his way to avoid her. That she wasn't just a pity case to him. Only to be mercilessly crushed by three little words.

Stephanie felt all the confidence leave her body as she willed the tears in her eyes not to fall. She didn't look up as Ranger reached out to grasp her hand, and so she didn't see the conflict in his eyes, the guilt and self-hatred.

"It was not intentionally. I truly believed it was best for you when I wasn't around. You looked at me so broken and fragile every time I visited you but at the same time you behaved completely indifferent. I thought you blamed me," he quickly tried to amend, the words pouring out of his mouth like water.

"Why would I blame you? I never... blamed you," she choked out.

"Your mother did."

Her head flew up at this, eyes fixed on his face as if searching for a hint there that he was lying. "What? When did she…? She had no reason to believe that you-"

He smiled tightly. "She didn't know what happened. The only thing she knew was that you broke up with Morelli and came straight to me of all people." His fingers softly stroked her hand as his eyes grew distant. "She was scared because she didn't know what happened to you and since I didn't let her through to you, she thought I held you captive."

"When…?" she breathed.

"The first time she showed up was two days after you came to RangeMan. Then she came every couple of days, demanding to see you." This time his smile was full of warmth. "She was even scarier than Grandma Mazur."

Stephanie chuckled weakly, still trying to comprehend what her mother had done. "She was?"

"Yes, she thought that I was responsible for your unhappiness. It made me think," Ranger said. "I thought I'd give you time to get over your break-up with Morelli. I didn't want to further hurt you by trying to help you. It seemed like the right thing to do to let you figure everything out on your own."

"I thought you didn't care," she sadly whispered.

He inhaled sharply. „I know that now. But it's not true. I just couldn't find a way to show you that I _do_ care."

She didn't respond.

"I'm not perfect," he said, "and I'm not Batman. I have flaws and I make mistakes. Especially when other person's feelings are concerned."

"You left," she accused. "I needed you more than ever before and you couldn't seem to make yourself approach me. And then you left. With Jeanne Ellen on some secret mission. Just like that. I was so hurt. I felt so alone, you know. That's why I was glad that Matt was there. He was the only one who left no doubts about what he wanted from me."

"Why did you suddenly think that I wouldn't care?" Ranger asked. "In all the years we've known each other you've never doubted. Why now?"

"Because you didn't speak! You didn't come up to me and try to talk. You were easily rejected and just accepted that. You didn't seem to realise how much I was hurting or you didn't care and I didn't want to be more of a burden-"

"You were not a burden," Ranger fiercely protested.

"But I didn't feel welcome either," she softly said. "I had developed so many insecurities and I had no one to back me up."

"You can always rely on me. You should have known that," Ranger somewhat bitterly said.

"I didn't, and your behaviour didn't exactly help change my mind."

Ranger brushed his hand across her cheek. "You still feel insecure?"

"In some ways."

"All right." His free hand came up to cup her other cheek. His grip on her face was gentle yet firm, not allowing her to avoid his penetrating gaze. "I've made mistakes, I can see that now. I've handled this situation the wrong way and I'm sorry that it caused you only more pain. I know I won't be able to rectify all of this tonight or in the near future, but I want to help you. I want to be there for you. If you let me. Tell me what I can do, and I will."

Confusion swirled in her eyes. "Why? Why are you doing this? Because you care?"

"Yes," he confirmed. "And that won't change. I'm not going to feel any different about you just because the cop made you question yourself. I want to be there for you, now. So, please, don't shut me out."

Fresh tears blinded her sight at hearing these things. His voice, his eyes, all of this told her that he truly meant what he was saying and the revelation made her happy, sad and giddy all at the same time. Past encounters and conversation were seen in a new light and she asked herself how she could have been blind to his own pain and helplessness that was so clearly staring back at her.

But all of this couldn't make her forget her loneliness, the betrayal she had felt the past two months. The caution was still there, the apprehension and fear that this was all just another act like Matt's friendship or another attempt to form her into someone she wasn't.

Ranger knew now most of her story. Though, most of the top had been scratched, there were a lot of other things that needed to be talked out, like Jeanne Ellen, her co-workers at RangeMan, her work for him, her living situation and probably also Morelli and her family. If he really wanted to be there for her like he offered, then she had a lot to tell. And strangely, she looked forward to talking to him. As she now remembered, he was the only one that had never judged her.

But what did he want from her? What was in there for him? What was his reason to help her? Just friendship?

"What do you feel for me?" she asked, repeating the words he'd only just used. With baited breath she awaited his answer.

His brown eyes were sparkling unnaturally with something deeper, something she had always missed in Joe's or even her mother's eyes…

"I love you, Steph," he said, smiling softly. "I've been in love with you for so many years."

"Love that won't come with a ring?" she said.

His smile grew and his whole face seemed to glow with affection and love. "No, I'm ready for more now. I want the whole package."

Her heart thumped painfully in her ears as he leaned forward to carefully brush his lips against hers. There was no pressure in the kiss, no asking for more – just a gentle affirmation to his words.

After the initial shock was over, words of protest stumbled out of her mouth. "But you said your lifestyle-"

"I know what I said," he interjected. "I want to be with you and I will do what I can to make it work. I'll take the risk that you won't be able to accept the way I live. I'll take the risk that you'll regret it someday. And I'll even take the risk that you someday might realise that you still love the cop. But I'd regret it if I didn't give us a chance. And I don't want to regret anything with you. I love you, Steph. I want to spend my life with you – if you'll have me."

"Wow," she muttered as tears gathered in her eyes.

"As I already said, I am ready," he substantiated, gently brushing a lock of curly hair behind her ear. "I guess the last couple weeks showed us how important honesty is. So I'm starting with that. We could work in steps, you know," he said. "I just want you to think about it. I promise you now that there won't be any mysteries on my side and that I'll try my best not to let any stupid misunderstandings arise." He looked at her imploringly. "Will you think about it?"

His thumb traced her bottom lip adoringly. Stephanie jerked her head away from his addicting ministrations. "It's not that easy. I can't just forgive and forget-"

"I know," Ranger somberly interrupted, "Take your time, I will wait."

With one last soulful glance at her face he strode out of the house. Stephanie's fingertips thoughtfully touched her lips as she stared after him. His words still rang loud and clear in her head, but it was still hard for her to understand that Ranger had bared his heart out to her just a few minutes ago. He must be really serious about his feelings towards her to purposely make himself this vulnerable…

"You really love him, don't you?" A voice said from behind Stephanie.

Slowly she turned around to look at her mother standing in the doorway to the living room.

"Then I accept him."

"What?"

"Oh, don't look so surprised." Genuine hurt shimmered in Mrs Plum's voice. "You are my daughter and I love you. I may not be very fond of him right now but give me time. If he's the man that makes you happy, then who am I to destroy your chance at true love?"

Stephanie hiccuped and practically flew off of her stool right into her mother's waiting embrace.

"I love you, Mom."

"I love you, too, honey."

Stephanie's tear-filled gaze met her mother's and she glimpsed the unconditional love she had seen in Ranger's eyes earlier. It had always been there. She only had been too ignorant to really see.


	15. Epilogue

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, except Matt maybe.

Author's Note: Wow, it's finally finished! Thanks to my beta Courtnay who did an amazing job in editing this story!

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**Epilogue**

Squaring her shoulders in determination, Stephanie stepped out of the elevator on the fourth floor in the RangeMan building. She carefully placed her baggage on the ground and searched her surroundings for familiar faces. Her gaze involuntarily lingered on her cubicle.

Though it had only been a few weeks since she had last been here, she felt self-conscious and nervous like never before. She had parted with Ranger, Tank and the others on quite uncertain terms, and she feared their reaction to her return. She didn't even know if she had been already replaced as co-worker and companion. She didn't really know if she was even welcome anymore.

But she was here to find all of that out and she knew that it was on her to make the first step.

A joyous shout from the control room interrupted her wandering mind.

"Bombshell!" Lester yelled and emerged a moment later from the control room to embrace her tightly. "So good to see you! It's been way too long! Where've you been?"

Surprised at his usual cheerful temper, Stephanie needed to think of an answer for a second too long.

Tank whacked Lester on the back of his head and shoved him aside. "Don't be so brash, Lester. She's just come back home and you're already lecturing her," he reprimanded, though the effect of his deep timbre was destroyed by the warm smile on his face. His eyes surveyed her entire form critically. "You look good."

Stephanie smiled heartily and felt the previous tension slowly leave her body. "Thank you."

"I hope everything went well with your family?" he cautiously asked, studying her face to gauge her feelings.

Even Lester now turned serious as both men awaited her answer.

"It went pretty well," Stephanie replied, a little taken aback by his forwardness. "They're eager to support me in any way possible. My mother had some difficulties at first with accepting my choices, but now she finally did. It's just a little strange, because it's almost like my mother and I are getting to know each other anew."

Tank nodded sympathetically and briefly squeezed her arm in reassurance.

"So, you've talked everything out with your family? That's great," Lester exclaimed, before his features darkened considerably. "What about the cop? How went your confrontation with him?"

Stephanie arched an eyebrow curiously. "How do you know that I went to see Joe?" Lester avoided her gaze guiltily. "I don't believe it! You tracked me again!"

Her accusing glare didn't leave Lester and he raised his hands in defence. "Boss's order."

"Traitor," Tank muttered, before turning to Stephanie. "Just because you rejected him doesn't mean he stopped caring about you," he wisely said.

Stephanie frowned in confusion. "I didn't reject him. I needed time to sort some things out with my family and friends and he readily gave me that time." Tank rolled his eyes. "And why do you know this as well?"

"I'm his best friend," Tank reminded her, "and I'm the one he's sparing with when he needs venting."

Lester chuckled gleefully. „So glad you're his best friend and not me."

Tank scowled.

"You still didn't answer my question," Lester persisted, looking at Stephanie. "What's with the cop?"

Stephanie sighed. The talk with Morelli had been quite rocky and tough, but she didn't want to expose Morelli's feelings and opinions to these two men who she knew would only hold it against him; even though she was as much to blame for the ending of their relationship than he was. "We're trying to be friends. He's going abroad for a few months for an operation, but when he's back we're going to try friendship. He needs some time away from everything here and that's why he volunteered for this mission. I think it'll be good if we got some distance from each other for a while."

"You haven't seen each other in about three months," Tank pointed out.

"Yes, but that was different," Stephanie said. "Now we've finally talked everything out and are both able to move on."

"Move on as in make a move on Ranger?" Lester hopefully asked.

"Something like that," Stephanie evasively answered. "I actually came to ask Ranger if my old apartment here is still available for me," she said, indicating to the luggage at her feet.

Lester looked more than displeased.

"This is your home, Stephanie. You don't have to ask. You're always welcome," Tank replied earnestly.

"I thought Ranger made that one clear?" Lester bristled.

"Yes, I guess in a way he did," Stephanie stuttered, feeling confused and oddly touched by the whole course of their conversation. It was astoundingly easy and _normal_ to talk with these two men about intimate details of her life. The realisation nearly overwhelmed her that these men already considered her their friend and were truly interested in her and her life. They showed that she was important to them and it made her heart swell how these seemingly unapproachable guys accepted her with open arms into their circle.

She had never really dared to believe that they would let her get close to them in the past few months.

"Well, he better had," Lester brusquely piped in. "This is your home after all."

Home… Tank had uttered the same term earlier on, but she had dismissed it as a general expression. She hadn't thought they'd meant it literally. A strange mixture of surprise, relief and happiness washed over Stephanie. Her emotional state was still fragile, and every positive turn of events was greedily accepted to help strengthen her new resolve to finally leave the shell that she had been hiding in for so long.

Tank eyed her seriously. "He's right, you know," he gently affirmed.

Stephanie nodded and swallowed the sudden lump in her throat. "I believe you."

"So everything's well between you, your family and friends?" Lester curiously inquired.

She smiled, a real and sincere smile. "Yes, it's not all settled right now, but we're getting there. It just needs time."

"That's good, really good," Lester absently said. "Hey, you know what? I think it's time we celebrated. How about it, Bombshell? Celebrate the fact that you're doing better, that you've sorted out your issues and that you've finally dumped Shitcop!"

Now it was Stephanie's turn to scowl. "Joe's still important to me, even though we're not an item anymore."

Lester cursed under his breath. "Would have been too great…"

Feeling unsettled all of a sudden, Stephanie shifted from one foot to the other. Her eyes restlessly wandering to the elevator doors to her luggage and back to the two men in front of her. She stopped as she noticed Tank's pensive facial expression.

"Lester, call Ranger and tell him that Stephanie's here," he ordered.

"But Ranger already knows-" Lester confusedly began.

"Lester." Tank shot him a look and he grumbled before walking back into the control room. Stephanie faintly heard the voices of Bobby and Hal questioning him about her.

"It's kind of surreal," she softly said. "Why are you doing this, Tank? Greeting me like this? It's not in your nature to be this openly affectionate."

Tank crossed his arms over his chest and stared down at her. But there was nothing intimidating about his posture; only openness and a hint of warmth.

"Ranger was furious when he found out how Lester and I cornered you about seeing a shrink." Stephanie instantly flinched and Tank pressed his lips together in a tight line. "We wanted to help you and thought an outsider would be best for this job. Someone who didn't know you or your situation and who you could talk freely to. It only was after you fled from us that we remembered how independent you are and that you maybe better deal with things on your own, or at least needed to come to the conclusion yourself that you needed help. So we wanted to give you time."

Stephanie rubbed her arms unconsciously, her gaze fastened on the floor. It was obvious that the topic was still sore to her. The touch of two large hands gently grasping her shoulders caused her to look up into Tank's serious eyes.

"But I couldn't. I am sorry for what happened there and I am also sorry for our argument in your cubicle. Obviously I tried too hard. I like you, Stephanie, the way you are. You don't have to change in any way."

Stephanie gasped and her blue eyes considerably saddened. "Did you know that that's exactly the reason why I left Joe that night?" she whispered. "He and my mother, they both tried to change me into someone I'm not. I always thought I wasn't good enough and then Ranger's distant behaviour, the confrontation with you…"

On impulse, Tank stepped forward and enveloped her in a surprisingly gentle hug. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Stephanie weakly smiled. "It's in the past now. I can't always dwell on the past, now can I? And it was partly my fault too. I let them influence me, otherwise I wouldn't have tried to be the perfect housewife that night at Joe's. I realised that I need to define who I am myself and that I need to stand up for the person that I am. I'm the only one who has the right to decide what I want to give for the people around me."

Tank smiled and kissed her temple. "It's great to have the courageous Stephanie back that's always doing her own thing."

Tears welled up in her eyes as she realised that he was referring to what he had really demanded in their argument in her cubicle weeks before. She nodded weakly and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "It's going to take some time, but I'm going to be okay. I know it."

"And we'll be right here by your side."

"I believe you," she whispered. And she really did.

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Her heart fluttering wildly in her chest, Stephanie stood face to face with Ranger in his seventh's floor apartment. He stood in the middle of the room, dark brown eyes watching her carefully. He made no move and it slightly unnerved her how blank his face was. There was not a thing about him giving away as to what he was thinking.

Taking a deep breath, she wanted to say something, anything to break the awkward silence, but he unexpectedly beat her to it.

"I heard the cops organised a party in your honour," he tonelessly said. "I take it your reconciliation with your cop friends went well?"

Stephanie laughed weakly as she remembered the spontaneous gathering her friend Carl had hosted for her after they had reunited. Many people, friends as well as acquaintances of her, had been invited, including Mary Lou, Lenny, Connie and Luna.

Mooner, Sally Sweet and Grandma Mazur had definitely served for that evening to become a pleasantly entertaining event.

"Yes," Stephanie answered, coming out of her reverie. "It went surprisingly well. I guess I didn't realise how much they'd missed me." She bit her lip and looked at him with happiness shining in her eyes.

Something flickered through his eyes, but it passed by too quickly for her to read.

"That's good," he said, his voice portraying the relief he felt on her part. "Mary Lou?"

"We had a long talk," Stephanie supplied. "She blamed herself for what happened because she wasn't there for me enough. I told her that her life didn't resolve around me and that's what I needed to realise as well. People aren't supposed to always see when I'm hurt – I need to ask for help if I need any and not wait for people to notice. Since then we've met a couple times more and it's getting easier each time. She doesn't treat me like glass anymore and I more and more forget what injustice I did to her in making her feel this heavy guilt."

It was really strange, but after these three months of nothing she felt closer to her family and friends than in a long time. Maybe it had been a long overdue wake up call and she was happy that the people dear to her cared enough for her to react to this call.

"You look really good," Ranger said, his eyes caressing her almost lovingly. "I'm happy to see you're getting better."

"Yes," Stephanie smiled. "It feels great to get my life back on track." She looked down and fumbled nervously with her hands. "That's why I'm here, actually. I wanted to know if I could move back into my old apartment on the fourth floor."

Looking back up at him as the silence lasted a tad bit too long, she was shocked to see the intense weariness on his face. The sadness. And loneliness. Openly displayed on his face for her to see.

"He's not allowed into this building," he harshly said.

Recoiling by his sudden shift in temper, Stephanie tried to stay calm. "Who isn't?"

"Morelli." Chest heaving heavily and breathing laboured, Ranger looked to be past the point of being upset.

"Why would he come here?" Stephanie asked, not understanding what was going on.

In a movement too quick for her to foresee, Ranger had her pressed against his chest and he whispered hotly in her ear, "I love you, Steph, and I'll take what I can get with you as long as you're in my life."

She tipped her head to the side in order to look up at him. "You do?" she asked, partly in awe and wonderment, and partly out of fear this was all just a wonderful dream. Being here in his arms, she felt like nothing could go wrong. It was like all the tension and nervousness of his reaction drained away so only happiness and love for the man in front of her remained.

"For that I'm even willing to accept that you chose Morelli over me in the end, but I won't sit back and watch you two here in my own home. Please, don't do this to me," he pleaded and Stephanie's heart shook a little at the immense pain in his voice.

She blinked as she finally guessed his thoughts.

"This is why you should let me talk first before making stupid assumptions," Stephanie gently chastised. "Morelli and I are not back together if that's what you're thinking. What gave you that idea?"

Ranger only looked at her for a long second. "You've avoided me for the past two weeks since our conversation while you went to meet everyone else. And you want to move back in to your old apartment instead of moving in with me."

Stephanie sighed profoundly and distractedly pushed a strand of hair out of her face.

"I needed to settle everything with my family and friends before I wanted to begin a new relationship with you. I want to make this right. I visited Joe and told him why I left him because it was the right thing to do. It was selfish of me to avoid him like I did. Jeanne Ellen was right, he deserved to at least know the truth. And I had to do this, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to move on. With you. And about the apartment… I wasn't sure if you'd still stick to your word…"

"Goodness, woman!" Ranger exclaimed incredulously, picking her up and kissing her passionately. "I told you I love you. What more proof do you need?"

Stephanie laughed whole-heartily at his apparent frustration and kissed away the worry lines at the corners of his mouth.

"I love you too." Ranger's frustration melted away into a slightly more blissful expression. "You don't have to worry about Joe. He wasn't the man I stayed with even though he hurt me. He wasn't the man I came running to when I sought help or comfort. He never understood me like you do." She stroked his left eyebrow and he slightly leaned into her touch. "He's in the past and I have to let go of the past. And I did."

Cradling her face in both of his hands, he said, "Things still could go wrong. If I ever hurt you unintentionally or if I ever do something you don't like, tell me. Don't hide anything from me. I want to know when you're unhappy."

She nodded in understanding. "Just let's not rush this relationship," she said. "Let's go about it slowly."

He kissed her softly on the lips. "We got all the time in the world, Babe."

She smiled and rested her head on his shoulder. "I guess then I'll have to bring up my luggage here."

Ranger's lips curved upwards as he inclined his head slightly. "Tank will bring it up for you."

"You know that my mother's going to expect us to dinner from time to time? She wants to get to know you better. And Grandma Mazur does as well."

His face gave nothing away. "Define from time to time."

Stephanie grinned sheepishly. "At least twice a week."

Rangers head fell forward into the crook of her neck. "Damn," he mildly cursed.

Stephanie laughed again and she savoured the feeling of pure happiness that flooded her whole being. It was the first time in many years that she felt comfortable with the person she was and with her environment. Gazing at the man she loved, she knew that, though everything wasn't all right now, in time it would be.

878700000000008787

People say that time can heal everything.

It may sound clichéd, but in a way it is true. If people are willing and patient enough to spare an uncertain amount of time and work, many things can actually be mended. Broken friendships can be repaired; a mother-daughter relationship can be reformed; a broken heart and spirit can heal and grow stronger than ever before.

Time can help people get over the hurt and pain and allows them to make a fresh start – if only the people are willing to make one.

For that a person also needs to see that she is worth enough to let time take care of things and that she needs to undertake the task of initiating and supporting said fresh start.

But how to realise that? How to accept, to believe that you are good enough just the way you are? How to stop doubting yourself?

The trigger is different in each situation, but a certain trigger is mostly needed nonetheless.

_Her_ trigger was an outsider, not a psychologist, but a man who pushed his way into her life without mercy and without restraint. He made her feel emotions she had not allowed herself to resurface in a long time – only to show his true character by hurting her intentionally.

It caused her to pour out and face every one of her afflicted feelings. It made her see her battered self. It made her see the way she had given up on herself.

And it gave her the strength and bravery to finally leave her shell to fight.

That did not mean that everything was fixed, but it showed that she was willing to gain her self-confidence back in order to accept who she was and what she wanted.

Those changes are necessary for these persons and do not occur over night.

They need time.

It will go more smoothly when her family and friends support her and wait for her to take their relationships to the next step.

He stood by her side always and he did not intend to change that fact. With one conversation he proved to her that he would help along the way of putting her life back in order.

Men are not sensitive human beings, people say, but when they actually once open up to a woman, they are often more vulnerable than every female could ever be, because when do they ever truly open up with all their heart?

But he did. He showed her that she was his world and she believed him. And she lays all her trust in him to hold her the next time that she needs someone to have her back.

In a way, they both learned something that only time could make them see:

If you are never brave enough to let anyone in your own little world, then you will never know what it is like to be happy. To be complete. With people around you that love you, although they are human and full of flaws.

Just like you.

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_Oh, it's over. I must admit, it feels... weird. Oh well..._

_I hope you liked the end. It'd be great if you told me what you thought of this epilogue and the story in general. Thanks for reading anyway. :)_


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